stupid stupid aol.

aol makes me want to die. i think it's actually this computer that's making me want to die.... it's so slow. and it's like six months old. *my* ancient second hand, six year old computer runs SO much better. alas, alas, it is not here.


so, my mom and dad managed to not make it to the mall, but i was so bored i took allie so she could spend some of her hot topic gift cards... she bought a jacket, which i am totally wearing tonight. and, i wanted her to buy this awesome shirt, but she didn't think it was funny... (it said "canada, america's hat")


hmm, renata, i do sort of remember the S guy. i think like... he liked the four S's... and we couldn't figure out what they all were, but we were pretty sure it was like... sailing, smooching... i don't know. it was funny at the time though. oooh ooh! there was a loser guy on my meet me list today! it was like, this ugly, bald hillbilly guy... and the profile was "i'm one of those men that every woman wants, but not every woman can have..." and detailed his snowmobiling and hunting successes... oh, and i matched with my friend adam. so i sent him a hot or not email and called him a bitch ass punk. and told him he should come out and drink beer and eat pizza and watch drag queens tonight. oh that reminds me, augusta's in town, i gotta call cal and tell him. (call cal is really hard to say fast...)


ooh, i bought some napolean dynamite chapstick today. "my lips hurt real bad!" i keep annoying my sister by telling her to bring it to me, and quoting the movie when she won't.


i'm bored. i'm gonna go look through all my favorite places.... because i haven't looked at any of them in AGES.

boo

i had the least fun last night.


boooo. but then, after i went home and fell asleep at midnight... EVERYONE called me. only i was seriously passed out, so i was like, just trying to get my phone to shut up. i answered it and hung up on jordan twice. whoops. i think the first time i answered, i thought it was graham? then i realized it wasn't, and my brain was just like "not graham, too tired to talk to anyone but graham..." and didn't really comprehend "it's not nice to hang up on jordan."


don't you hate people who im you all the time, for no reason. like, you won't have talked to them in like, a year, and they're like "hi. what's up." and then they don't even talk to you. i HATE that.


i think my whole family is supposed to be leaving to go to the mall sometime soon here... but it seems like everyone's moving really slowly. and now, apparently my mom needs to call my grandparents before we go? (to let them know where she's going?) i really bet my mom decides to do laundry or something and no one actually makes it out to the movies/mall and my mom spends the rest of the day whining about it.


i'm gonna quit blogging, because our house is so cold that my fingers are freezing because they're all lonely and typing instead of in my pockets. *sigh*

bi polar

this post may be a little up and down... be forewarned. hey, at least it's not ALL down like it has been.


so, in keeping with my "things can always get much worse" theory... i just got back from my grandfather's funeral. so, as you can well imagine, i've had a wonderful weekend. let's see, i went out thursday night after i found out... and got all wasted. yeah, 7:30 til 3:00am... pretty hardcore, even for me. that left me feeling horrible all day friday... hungover driving is not fun. on the upside, i got to see my whole family, which never happens... but everyone was all sad... so that was sad... it was one of those... everyone would be fine, then one person would start to sniffle, and suddenly everyone was crying. and, what made it all even weirder was... it was my sister's birthday the day before the wake, and my mom's birthday the day of the funeral. everyone in our family's just having a rockin 2005.


in happier news... while trying to get my teachers to pay attention to my "i'll be missing class, would you mind telling me what's going on and NOT ignoring me" emails... i rediscovered meet me at hot or not. MAN, i used to LOVE that. whenever i feel sad, i can go and look at like a million people who wanna meet me! and then i feel vain and petty, but better. this last batch i looked through was surprisingly devoid of losers... it made me kinda sad, i love dumb profiles and keywords like "soup, ducks, whaling"... ooooh well, i'm sure if i keep checking i'll find some.


i really should got and do my homework for my non fiction writing class (which is, essentially, blogging. best class ever... daily journals for homework. about anything. well, technically they're supposed to follow the prompts... but i like the prompts, and the end journals are usually at least vaguely related... anyways... yeah, homework.) but, to do my homework, i need to go and buy a notebook (i have been keeping them on random pieces of paper, but i'm supposed to keep them in a notebook, so i'm gonna go do that. dude, i wonder if i could start a blog for the class?? that'd be so freaking awesome, because my handwriting when i'm trying to write fast is SO bad, and i always write so slow i forget ideas... ooooh, that's definitely gonnna be something to think about. ok. i'm gonna go and set up a blog... just in case i can do that. awesome.

hmm.

in the past two or three weeks i've discovered that no matter how horrible things are, they can always get much much much much worse. but, that even when they do get that much worse, life goes on. so, it's both very discouraging and uplifting at the same time. i guess.


i just spent an hour going through my email, which i haven't checked in over four months. it was interesting. i missed like six theatre parties that i never read the invites for. which made me kind of sad. but oh well.


tomorrow's allison's 13th birthday party. woooo! cal's coming over to keep me company while i chaperone the party.


i should go take my pain pills and fall asleep, i have to go to allison's basketball game at like, eight tomorrow morning.


i would update everyone on what's been going on and any upcoming events, but i think i'll start crying if i type everything out... so you'll all just have to wait until it's all a little farther past, or i'm drunk. and i won't be getting drunk until i'm off all my meds, so it'll be awhile either way. which should come as a huge surprise, seeing how regular my updates usually are.


graham had better call my tonight, or i'm going to have to go back to being mad/sad at him. unless he's really drunk, then it's ok if he doesn't call. if he's kinda drunk, or pretty drunk it's ok, because i'm generally fairly loopy due to the pills... but really drunk and i just get confused. ok, to bed/watch friends.