so, serious meltdown on blogger's publishing server for non pro users. maaan, i wish i had blogger pro. but i'm maintianing my amateur status for the blogging olympics.

seriously blogger. i'll nullpointerexception you! stop giving me error messages!

blogger has been being terrible lately! i tried to get that last post to publish like four times.


what is up? i got another nose bleeed. it worries me slightly. seriously, i'm going to bleed to death, via my nose. *sigh* also, been hellaciously sick. monday night, i seriuosly threw up every half hour. it was super nasty, and i really only had like.... five hours to sleep.... so, i was not so happy about wasting my sleeping time being sick. then, after all that, i went to work at 9:00, then chelsea (who i was supposed to work with til four) called in sick. so, jess came in early so that we could get stuff done before our regional and district managers got there. then they call. and are like "we're in williamsburg, we'll be there tomorrrow" i have reason to believe that they got there right at open today. which is silly, because someone from moline is opening today . so.... yeah, got off work at 6, went to derek's and watched american idol (by the way, clay aiken is the cutest thing in the entire world. aand he sang build me up buttercup, which is like.... one of my favorite songs.) then watched part of smallville, then went back to work. got to the mall, threw up, had a bagel from panera.... threw up again.... finished tagging almost everything (we're putting sensormatic tags on everything in the store). and went back to derek's. got up at 9:40, went to class, in the POURING rain. got entirely soaking wet and miserable and feeling sorry for myself.... sat in my car in the parking ramp and cried for like ten minutes after class. felt a little better, spent my last dollar and twenty cents on parking (and that involved a lot of searching or coins after i finished feeling sorry for myself. remember, i only had eighty six cents yesterday.) if my u-bill doesn't get paid.... i might not take a full schedule next semester. i might just take like.... spanish... and interp of lit. that's 8 hours. so, i guess, one more (time consuming) class, i could be full time.... *Sigh* but, i want to take interp of lit over the summer. then i don't have anything to do but work and read books, and write papers. i would actually really enjoy that.


ok, finals is almost fucking here, i have a lot to do. so i'm gonna go do it while i actually have computer time to do it.

i really need to blog about the stuart shows, because i enjoyed them so much.


i have to do some school stuff though, and this may be the only time that the computer is free, so i'm gonna do it now. (see kids, if your'e gonna whine at me about updating.... a. leave me comments, so i'll be like "oh, i'm loved! i owe them an update." (seriously, if there were comments from everyone who told me or imed me or left me a message saying "update!" i would have updated.) b. i don't have a working computer! it's difficult to maintain a website, and email correspondence when i'm never able to use a computer. seriously, i have like 60 emails. all of them of some importance, and like 15 of them actually vital importance. *SIGH* i told.... sean... i think.... that if he wanted me to update every day, he could go right on over to best buy and buy me a computer. i am broke enough, and owing enough people money that i don't need to try to buy a computer. or pay for internet. *sigh*


oh, in other news, before i leave....


..got a bloody nose while driving home today, very nearly crashed my car. (i NEVER get bloody noses, wtf)
..am ready to throw brad's new dog out the window. but she's a puppy, so i can't actually hate her.
..work today, 4-forever. also, mr. brilliant didnt' schedule anyone to close with me. so i'm alllll alone.
..am supposed to work open to close tomorrow
..have 86 cents. i'm soooo rockin.
..lightened my hair! but NO one noticed. and even when i tell people, i can tell they can't tell the difference. *Sigh* i like it though. i want it to be nice, so i can whip out my bebe swimming suit and sit by a pool looking all "i'm wearing a swimming suit, but am so obviously not going to go swimming." i.e. swimming suit with rhinestones. or.... whip out my tyr suit, and actually swim. mmm. swimming some laps sounds SO nice right now.
..have many many things to do. as usual. also, since my dad hasn't paid my u-bill.... i can't register. but oh, i'm a theatre major, all my classes are special permission, and almost full. so next semester, i'm fucked. i know, i know... i'm not paying, i can't complain. i wouldnt' be GOING if my dad weren't paying. but still. i'm not gonna be able to graduate til like.... 2007 or 08 as it is. (fucking 6 years in college? kill me.) so. i guess another semester of classes i hate, that have nothing to do with my major. seriously, that is so depressing. like, hate my life, do not want another semester of gen ed, uninteresting, stupid classes, can't STAND another semester with no decent classes depression.
..ok. bye.

blogger. seriously. i'll come over there and kick you. don't think i won't.

dude, blogger. publish!

WOW. guys i'm so super sorry. i have so much news. like.... hey, abi works at gadzooks. guess where i might be working very sooon.... gadzooks. *crosses fingers* so much to say about that.


also, so much to say about soooo much. there are like.... three pages of handwritten stuff at derek's. they're on the table. i'm at my uncle's house right now. in roland. oh, and can i just mention.... when i'm at home, all bored on a friday night.... NO one ever calls me. eeeeeeeeeeever! but, i'm here with mi familia in roland, and i have had like.... twelve calls. well, four. but still.


derek's been gone since tuesday. and i miss him very much. he sounded very grouchy/not himself on the phone. i can't say that i blame him, but i still miss him. grouchy derek is better than no derek.


i haven't read my email in like.... a week. i'm sorry.


saw stuart at the mshop tonight. good good show. hellelujah is potentially my new favorite song. and can i just mention that the new ending of human girl is the most fucking awesome thing in the entire world?


dude, last night, i was a wee bit intoxicated, and i was SO vulgar. but i met this guy, who's a buddhist and hangs out at studio, and has some super cool tattoos, and a really confusing phone. and he was really cool, and i would like to talk to him in a situation where he was not drunkenly hitting on me, while patrick and i reminded him that i was not so much available. apparently he knows thang though? and this huuuuge freaking group of people that i spent all evening trying to ditch. (we were successful in the end). we went to pizza on dubuque too, and these girls took the parmesan to their table. and they weren't sharing. and i was SO upset about it. i told patrick ALLLL about how upset i was. i was even devising a plan to go get it. but then i finished my pizza, and we left. and it ceased being an issue. dude, the drink specials at studio were out of control. one dollar everythings. i bought like... five people drinks. or maybe i just bough VJ five drinks.... no. i heart vj. i would just like to mention that. (his name got capital letters the first time, but no more of that.) and keisha and sunday. aww. *immense love for fellow studio13 whores*


i haaaaaaaaaaave sooooooooooooo much to blog about. so much. but.... i caaan't do it all now. because i know that my family is having fun in the kitchen, while i'm in here at the computer.


OH MY GOD! there was hella drama on wednesday. hella. like.... oh my fucking god. there was car drama for me. then there was devin drama (i know! didn't that just come out of the blue?!) well, i found some of his shit, and i dropped it off with his roommate. chris (c'mon, you guys remember chris... i was always typing christ instead of chris, and found it terribly amusing...) well, anyhow, i checked to see that devin wasn't home, because i didn't want to see him. dropped of this little box of stuff (it was a box that sunglasses come in. that's so off topic, i'm sorry.) and had a little chat with chris. made a joke about going out to the gay bar (alternative dance club....) and left. so, i'm sitting at the table with ryan and steffanie, and a hoarde of rue 21 people.... and i notice this weird looking guy with a grocery bag standing in the doorway... and totally think nothing more than "why does he have a grocery bag?" then.... THEN... i go back to my conversation with ryan and steffanie.... and someone drops this bag DIRECTLY in front of me, turns and walks out. and i see what's in the bag (mainly, all my stuff) and i'm like "oh my god, that's devin." and steff and ryan and i chase him, and are like "hey! wait a sec!" and he's like "i gotta go" and leaves. and we're all like "what the fuck?" he had his hair french braided. and may i take one moment to say.... EVERYthing aside.... it looked fucking stupid. ("the guy with girl hair. this guy is so in love with his beautiful hair. only problem is.... it's not beautiful" an excerpt from a HILARIOUS guide to boys.) oh well. that was my random drama from wednesday. sooooo out of nowhere.


ok, i'm gonna go hang out in the kitchen. call the cell if you neeed me (the number's still hidden somewhere around here...)

i promise i will really super update tomorrow. maybe.


i was going to update right now. but i have paperwork to do for work tomorrow, and i need to look some stuff up online. *SIGH*


*sigh*


abi, where to you work?? let's see... i need to update about this whole weekend. yup.


i'm watching star trek. it's super cool.

need to update! aaaaah! but... i'm not going too.

today. class. well, work, then class, then wrote a paper (oh it was such a great paper. i heart it.) then more class. then, i got jessica's number, and my phone ate it. oh, somewhere in there.... i went to verizon, because they turned my phone off (they'll do that if you don't pay the bill.) so, i paid it. and they turned it back on right away. after class i got my birth control pills. (back to pills from the shot. don't get the shot. it sucks ass. it made me hate my life WAY more than birth control pills. here comes the birth control pill rant. THIRTY DOLLARS! aaaaaaaagh. for 28 pills. i'll just leave it at that.)


i'm listening to the episode of "this american life" about the girl who pretended to have a serious disease to con rent cast members into like.... loving her? everyone remember this? crazy shit. this is an awesome this american life. "i slept under daphne." re: the line. though, the rentheads they're interviewing are like "sleeping in line? makes me feel like i'm in the show? because i'm living like they are?" uh. no. you dummy. oh well. they interview anthony and gwen about it though.


i've written so much today. and i feel selfish, so i'm not gonna share it. i started a private blog to put my other stuff in. so i'm going to go and write there. sorry kids.


OH! michelle emailed me, and it maaaaaade me so happy. ok, back to the other blog.

happpy birthday derek! you're in the other room sleeping. so i could very easily just go tell you happy birthday.... but i did that already. besides, i'm all the way out here blogging.


there's not enough that has happened since i last blogged.... for me to blog again. doh. i'm really in a writing mood. maybe i should go back to actual writing, not just diary type writing. oooh, that'd be too crazy.


there's a bulldozer next door, it's bulldozing where brenton's house used to be. it's kind of loud.


the end!

so... *nina* .... not married? not in canada? just missing? scary. really. really scary. ...


david sedaris was hiiiilarious. read two stories "repeat after me" and one i can only assume is called "we protest" they were SO funny. and "repeat after me" was really poignant and sentimental too. he signed my books. it made me soooo happy. it was worth waiting in line for an hour and a half. and he gave me a reeses peanut butter cup. it was so good. he signed one of them "to megan, a fox in iowa city", one "to megan, it's so nice to finally meet you in person" and the last one "to megan, in the NICE trailer park" because i was making fun of my trailer. and he signed me talk pretty one day for my dad.


and renata, i HAVE seen a pink ibook. someone in one of my classes had one. and used it to take notes during lecture all the time. and i was oh-so-bitterly-jealous. but dude. mac SUCKS for taking away the colors. *sob* i have no desire for a white or silver ibook. none. (that's a lie. but. still.)


oh my god! i forgot to mention that derek and larissa got assistant coach of the year! (it was a tie.) like, in all the whole entire region! (rock on grammar...) and he didn't even tell me this til he got home. i was so suprised/happy/confused (of course confused) when he told me. and he's only been coaching at ui for two years. he's accomplished more in two years than i have in like... four. and more than i will in like... the next four. so that's like.... eight. doh. oh and.... derek's birthday tomorrow! (today! its' like 12:07am. happy birthday!!!)


i'm wearing a paul frank belt, with julius monkey on it. and a paul frank watch. and i had my paul frank purse. AND my paul frank key chains. overkill much?


i am QUITE sick. sneezing. and my head hurts. everytime i sneeze i think that it's going to explode. or that like.... my eyes will pop out. oh my god it hurts so bad. i thought i was going to faint while we were in line to get david sedaris to sign things. speaking of that again.... i saw whitney! and kevin!! hey derek, whitney says hi ^_^


i am going to go to sleep i think. derek's supposed to call me (or was i supposed to call him?) but.... i cannot deal with anything more complex than sleeping. though, my comfy pillows are at his house. my fault. doh. oh well. i have three fairly comfy pillows here. ones' reallllllly glittery though. *shrug* work tomorrow at 9:30. come seeee me! (derek's one of the only ones who actually comes to see me. it makes me feel so happy whenever i notice him sneaking up on me. awww.) i'd be super happy if one of y'all came and snuck up on me though. i'm by myself til like.... 3. so. really, it'd rock to talk to someone. goodnight kids. here's hoping that my headache and TERRIBLE COLD go away soon. i haaaaaaate being sick. why does my immune system suck SOOOO much?

well. it's been awhile. since i've really mentioned what's been up. i did mention that derek was gone all weekend *sniffle* i missed him muchly. however, missy was here!! (i wonder if she's still here.... *calls* hmmm.... i don't actually have her number. doh. know what else? my number's still up. doh!!) i'm listening to some stuart. (400 bar boot "also, some cool people to hang out with back at the merch table.... megan and kismet, check them out. see if you can get them both to hug you at the same time. it's not hard. just say "i'm a person, and i need love"") though, two of my stuart video cds and my rocky horror picture cd don't work in this computer. woe is me. woe is me. i really want to see my rocky pictures. alas. i bet if i had a pink ibook, this wouldn't happen. (i have fallen in love with pink ibooks. awww they're so cute! but you know what? i don't think they make them anymore! they don't make orange ones either! or maybe they do, and i'm misinformed. hey renata, when you got your new macs, did you pick what colors they are? i'msoconfused. but i know that i want a pink ibook. i should make that my life mission. everyone needs a life mission.)


so, the girls gymnastics team is going to nationals!! wow! i'm so excited for you all. and from what i hear.... michelle was awesome. moreso than usual, if you can even believe it. my response to everything derek told me about regionals was "oh my god! *pause* oh my GOD! *pause* no way, oh my god." (only, being that it was me, it was more "omigawd") and most of those omigawds were for michelle. wow. wow. i cannot express the level of wow that i feel. that is where my blog falls short. you can't see my hand motions. i need hand motions. oh oh oh! michelllle (yes, with four L's.) derek was NO help when i asked him to get me your phone number. he was like "who's if for?" and i was like "me, you dork." *sigh* so, you need to email me, meagna@frowl.org (meagna. not megan, not megna, not meagan. it's confusing. i know. *sigh* though, if you mess up, it goes to the frowl@frowl.org account, and i'll find it eventually) or you know, you could just click on the the link over yonder on the left. while you're clicking links over there.... check out the rocky horror pictures for many of derek looking like a dork. ^_^ awww, no. he looks nice in some of them. i definitely look like a dork in a lot of them. especially the one where i'm headbanging. despite looking dorking... i should headbang more often.


i have a cold. i was ok last night and this morning, and now i keep coughing explosively. and sneezing. i'm quite a fright to be around at the moment. i just laughed at something on renata's blog, and it made me cough for like... a minute. bah. and i'm going to see david sedaris tonight! yaay!! i bet he'll make me laugh and i'll die coughing in the middle of his... speaking event.... concert? i dunno. reading? maybe? i personally like "speaking event". i loooooove david sedaris. dude. total topic change, but this cd that i'm listening to is from like.... the night before our first real rocky horror rehearsal. because i didn't get to go to duluth, because of rehearsal. kismet remebers. *nod*


anywho, david sedaris. i LOVE david sedaris. oh my GOD. because he is SO cynical and hilarious. i can't read his stuff on planes anymore, because i make a fool of myself laughing. example...


from the slate diaries:


**********
I talked to Amy, who reminded me of the old show-business formula for finding your stage name. You take your middle name and follow with the name of the first street you lived on. My stage name is Raymond Wayne. Amy is Louise Bournthill, and Hugh is Alexander Cannon. I thought this was a foolproof method for coming up with a sophisticated-sounding name, until later in the afternoon when I talked to my friend Marge, whose unfortunate stage name would be Ruth West 34th Street.
To find your drag name, you take the name of your first pet and follow it with your mother's maiden name. I am Dutchess Leonard. Hugh is Winnie Neurath. Some people were just born with good names. Our friend Jolean Albright has Kerwin Fairlawn as a stage name, and Winky Dykeman as her drag alternative. Winky Dykeman--it just doesn't get any better than that.
**********
The holidays are approaching and it seems that every time I pick up the phone, it's someone asking for money. Sometimes they'll call asking for Hugh, and when told he isn't here, they invariably say, "Well is this Mrs. Hamrick?"
Strangers on the telephone often mistake me for a woman. The same thing happens to my brother. We sound like girls.
A few days ago I got a call asking me to contribute to a rent-control and stabilization lobby. I told the woman that I didn't have a rent-controlled apartment, and she said it didn't matter. "We're fighting to stop these greedy landlords from tripling the rent and tossing their tenants out into the street. Are you with us, Mrs. Sedaris?"
My parents used to be landlords in North Carolina, and I've come to understand that things aren't always quite so simple as she was making them out to be. The owner of this building has taxes to pay. He has boilers to replace and heat to furnish and it isn't easy when half the tenants are paying less than $100 a month.
I told the woman that I gave money only to Central Park and the New York Public Library.
"Well how is the park or the library going to help you when you're out on the streets without a roof over your head?"
I said that, if nothing else, at least I'll have a few attractive places in which to feel sorry for myself.
She cursed me briefly before hanging up. It kills me when they turn ugly like that. Tonight someone called for Hugh, asking him to donate money to a program that distributes winter coats to the needy. I listened in. "We're asking for you, Mr. Hamrick, because we know how much you care. Can you help us out with a hundred dollars?"
Hugh told the woman that he'd recently directed a play where the audience members were told to bring their used winter coats, which would then be donated to--
The woman hung up on him, and I sat in the bedroom listening as he held the phone saying, "Hello. Hello?"




tickets are still available, you should come! maybe you'll see me there! and i'll wave at you! i wish i wrote like david sedaris. *sigh* now i'm depressed because i don't write like david sedaris. or bill bryson for that matter. *sigh* life is so empty all of a sudden. *sigh* but... my drag name is toto grave. boo. i like the toto part of it. (my first pet was a grouchy grey and white cat that i named after toto from the wizard of oz.)


hey! dena cass broke the screen in the window at studio last night. and jumped out, and harrassed some people in the alley, and came back in through the front door. i think that's the second of third time she's broken a window there. (dena cass is a very tall, very big drag queen with very real breasts (well, implants) she cracks me up. and i hear she's gonna be at studio every sunday now?! i wonder if cassandra is gonna be there too...) oh, speaking of cassandra... she definitely pushed my face in her (also real) cleavage last night. it was derek's fault. derek got considerably tipsy last night. he was hilarious. oh dear god. and apparently he moved out to sleep on the couch at some point in the middle of the night? he was really cold, but refused to actually use any blankets. so i went and got him the golfer blanket from the living room. and apparently it reminded him of the couch.... so he went out there, and fell asleep. then he came back, and was all confused. and i was all confused as well. aaaand, he got molested by a boy in the hallway at studio. the same boy later molested me. i love gay boys who turn straight when they're drunk. they crack me up.


tomorrow's derek's birthday!! i should do something huge and embarrasing.... but i won't. i promise. i don't think i'm clever enough to do something like that. *Sigh* alrightyo kids. i'm off.


ohmygod, rob3t2! my email won't send to you. and i wrote a loooong interesting email. *Sniffle* about my missing make up compact that i left in your car when chad and i were trekking across illionis in your rubbermaid saturn (saturns are made out of tupperware. or something.) i should have written down quotes from our phone call the other night. "a TRAAAAAAIN! i hate my life" "what?! but, you were happy about the train! what's wrong!?" "no no, the train's in my way. oh wait, it's over now." "did it have a caboose?" "noooo, iowa trains have engines on both ends." "oh, like worms." *sigh* goodtimes. for real, i'm leaving this time. i'm gonna try and locate a pink ibook.. because i want to see if they're still around. or if they never even existed and i'm imagining things. then, i'll buy it with my eighty cents. which is on the floor at derek's house. derek knocked it on the flooor and i was like "ooh no! i need that!" and i do. *sigh* ok, really i'll shut up, i'm leaving! bye!!

isn't it incredible how music can evoke such deep emotions. i'm listening to a few old mix cds.... and like... build me up buttercup... and my girl.... brought back SUCH strong memories. wow. wow. *sigh* like.... memories i didn't even know were there. and they're clear as can be. wow.


there's no one home, and listening to these cds made me all lonely (happy memories... but lonely now. awsad.)


i thought i was going to sleep?

not going to make this a long post. because i am.... tired.... angry.... sad... but.... so happy for the gymnasts because they're going to nationals!! ahh! (seriously, finding that out made my night. wow. yay you guys!)


work today was not enjoyable in the least. ten hours days.... booo. and i get to do it again tomorrow! bah.


uhhhh. what else? *can't think*


i'm so blown away by the *nina* situation. the plot thickens. maaan. her poor parents must be going crazy. and colby? what was that comment about?! oooh the drama that surrounds the frowlers.


soooo... tired.... must.... sleep. *thinks* well, i'll watch friends. then sleep.

no one commented. *cries*


i'm at emily's watching mst3k. mike made an umbrellas with gutters. so that the water doesn't drip on your back. i think this one is "the brain that wouldn't die" . . . we watched margaret cho (it was quite amusing. i'm gonna get (or make) a shirt that says "guys, don't be mad.... i totally ate carla". anywho, after that we watched office space. and i realized i only have five pieces of flare on my keychain dealie at work. but aaron doesn't appreciate my flare. *sniffle*


ok, movie's starting. i was going to blog about everything.... but the movie's too funny, and i'm distracted.


i will say that derek's off in... missouri. and i hope they're all doing really well! and i miss him *sniffle* but, i'm sure they're doing well, and that makes it ok.

studio 13 last night was excellent. i dunno how much they ended up raising, but it was quite a bit. also, all of derek's gymnasts were there. i was nervous. oh, AND my dad was there. aah. but, tiffany and steffanie came, and it was quite exciting. oh oh oh! and i actually formally met michelle (not magentarosemarymichelle, but gymnastmichelle) and i LOVE her. oh my GOD! i want her to be my best friend. she cracks me up. she convinced me to entirely change clothes in the parking ramp. goodtimes, goodtimes. there is so much more i could say about last night.... because it rocked so much, but i've had a hella long day, and last night isn't on my mind so much.


work drama today. like, rebecca called my phone 10 times, and i didn't have my phone (due to craziness and me being an airhead.) so.... it was crazy. and jess had to come in, and aaron was there.... but he didn't really do anything constructive. which made me grouchy, because thea and i had to make up for it. and that didn't work out so well, so i have to go in tomorrow morning and make everything all nice. otherwise this weekend will SUCK. aaaaaaaaaaagh. tomorrow's supposed to be my one day of. but i'll be there. wooo. 9:30-6:30.


did i mention that i got a pair of pink sneakers for ten dollars at pac sun? because i did. and i LOVE them.


speaking of pac sun.... i applied for an assistant manager position. *gasp* i hope i get it. (crazy, i know.... but pac sun is like.... *tries to think of a good analogy for comparison* .... well... pac sun rocks my sushi stand. whereas rue is.... not so much sushi stand rocking. rocking... yes. sushi stand, no.)


i'm listening to stuart. bootleg "we're kind of close to be using the walkie talkies.... you're literally the person closest to me in the ENTIRE room."

dude! big ass fundraiser at studio 13 tonight! come! call the cell *gasp* here comes the number.... i'm gonna delete it when i get home.... and no area code, since i assume you people who know me know it..... 321 0042. i will have it on the whoooole time, so call. you should ALL come. it's for the best cause ever (matthew shepard foundation), and it's going to be a great time. and i think the majority of the rocky horror kids will be there! ah! i just talked to tiffany, and i think she's gonna come!! ah!! yay! i have to go get ready. because.... i smell bad. *sob* it makes me sad.

Raver Bear


Which Dysfunctional Care Bear Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


who can hate their life when they're raver bear? i mean, come on.


...i'm trying really hard not to let all this get me down guys. because if it does.... i'm gonna crash and burn.




pysch test = easy. cleaning house/doing laundry = harder.


my neck hurts. the left side. ow. and my feet hurt. oh, because i've had heels on since 8 this morning. *takes shoes off*
... so, next week....


sunday 12-7 - 6.5 hours.
monday 4:30-10 - 5 hours
tuesday 9-10 (open-close) - 12 hours (well, 13, but minus 2 half hour breaks)
wednesday - off.
thursday 9-5:30 - 8 hours.
friday 9-5:30 - 8 hours.
saturday 9-5:30 - 8 hours.


wish me luck.

i'm alright now. i am still having some major issues, but i'm much better than i was this morning. much. thank you everyone who called my cell and left a nice message, or called work to tell me they love me. aw.


i did discover today though.... that i will be working 6 days a week for the next two weeks. and at least one of those days will be an open to close (9am til 10pm. boo.) can't say that really improved my mood much. but doing markdowns and distros by myself for three hours calmed me down a lot. it was nice to work and have alone time. i'm so efficient.


wish my luck on my pyschology test. granted, you only need 30% to pass, and like.... 60% for an A. highly questionable if you ask me.

oh my god, could my morning go any worse (yes, prolly....)


i hate my life. if anyone needs me today, i will be at work, all day. then, i will be taking my pyschology test (thank god that's an easy a at least.) then, i will be locked in my room, crying/sleeping/hating my life.

this is just something i forgot to blog earlier.....


it snowed all last night, so, of course, my car was like.... in a huge drift of snow, and since derek and i overslept he was in this huge rush to leave, and i had class, so i was in a small rush to leave (i was admittedly five minutes late, but i usually am, and one of those minutes was derek's fault for calling me) so, derek rushed out, i did a very bad job making the bed, picked up some stuff we'd left in the living room (minus the futon, because it's enormolous) and headed out to my car, all dreading clearing all the snow off with my wimpy ice scraper. but.... lo and behold.... my car was entirely clear. awwwww. i seriously said "awww" outloud, to myself, standing on the sidewalk. then, when derek called as i was trying to sneakily enter the lecture hall (i went back to the crazy macbride stairs when my phone went off... i was like "aaah retreat retreat!" and ran back to the hallway) anywho, i was like "thank you for clearing the snow off my car" and he was like "i didn't" and i was like "whaa? but... i.... *flail* i don't believe you, you did too." and he laughed at me because i am the most gullible person in the entire world. ... "megan! someone wrote gullible on your hat!" "oh my god that's so mean! *takes hat off... nothing is written on it....* doh."


i'm thinking of getting my bellybutton pierced, and i want opinions. and some of you.... i know you're reading, so you'd better comment with an opinion. i really cannot decide whether or not to do it. i'm soooo conflicted. other options are.... tattoo.... another earring (which ear? where?), tongue ring.... (i want one sooo bad, but they really have a stigma attatched.... and i'm waaaaaaaaaaay too much of a wimp to get it done.) ooor, not use my tattoo/piercing certificate. c'mon now, speak up.


renata and i both watched xmen on FX last night. awww. i bet derek didn't make her miss the ending though. *grumble*


so, this week is crazy. tonight.... i work. tomorrow, i work, then i have a test, then i work some more. wednesday.... i don't think i have anything going on on wednesday!!! yay!! (well, class all day, but that's normal.... and heeeey, if i go to dance thursday instead of wed., i only have class til 5. rock on.) thursday, daaaance.... and work(4-cl). friday.... *sigh* i still want to go to milwaukee. even if it's like.... by myself (which it's going to be).... but, i work at one on saturday.... (i requested that weekend off.... be everyone has crazy conflicts except for me (well, even i do...). so it's alllll me that weekend.) *sigh* *sniffle* i really might just go up for friday's show. that's soooo crazy, but if i have the money (which i won't) i'll do it. *grumble* freaking last chance i have to see dj.... and i'm broke and stuck working. grr.


*breath*


so, friday.... i have off. saturday, i work 1-10 (will prolly end up being more 12-10, esp. if i don't go to milwaukee) sunday.... i don't know, because i never know what the deal is on sundays..... but, i'll be it's either open til close (9:30-6:45ish) or 12-close. oh well. a couple more weeks like this and i'll be all clear (well, mostly). wooo!


i took the pink faceplate off my phone. it wasn't too terribly high quality.... so i put the original metallic one back one. my phone looks all sleek now. when it was pink.... it looked like a refridgerator from the 1960's. i don't think that's how you spell refridgerator. *sigh*


should i stay a theatre major? i mean.... really. if i were somewhere where i could double major in .... say..... technical theatre, and theatrical design.... no question.... i'd be all over it. or even somewhere that had a tech/design degree (usd.... i could still go to south dakota........ or uni.... but then i'd be in cedar falls. yuck. actually, yuck to south dakota too...) *grumble* but..... seriously..... theatre arts, from iowa. woooooohoo. i'll be going places then. *sigh*


maybe i should move to canada and get married.


i'm hungry. and kind of grumpy. i'm gonna go take a bath, to hopefully make me not grumpy for work. because i HATE it when i am not 100% happy to be at work. if i'm even a little grumpy, a bitchy customer can ruin my day..... but if i'm genuinely peppy (which i usually am.... spencer (from panera) says i should be a flight attendant.) i looooove to be at work, and i being a big dork and helping customers. come see me while i'm working, it'd make me super happy if anyone stopped by. maybe with a cookie. and chocolate milk. mmmm. well, i'm going to go take a bath so i can look pretty and be peppy.


my necklaces are at derek's..... dammit all. oh well. i'll just wear something that doesnt need my pink and purple necklaces. that shouldn't be too hard.

so.... *nina* moved to canada and got married? that is crazy. like.... oh my god. i mean.... how do you just do that?! consider the shock if i were to not post for a couple days..... then be like "say, moved to canada, got married, working in a diner, the uniforms are turquoise! i love it!" (i hear that turquoise is the new black.) *sigh* crazy. but.... rock on *nina*.


hey! blogger didn't publish my last entry. jerk!


not much to say, not much time to say it, so.... i'll be quick.


...went to see view from the top last night. soooo stupid and cheesy, but i enjoyed it very much.
...huge frickin blizzard all night. stupid iowa and it's stupid april snow storms.
...i watched xmen last night, but i missed the end, and am oh-so-bitter about it.
...doh, just remembered that derek was supposed to go to studio 13 last night to drop off flyers. maybe he did that.... while i ran home? maybe?
...i couldn't decide where i wanted to eat last night (well, i DID.... but then realized it was prolly closed.... and that limited my options greatly.... i really was justified in my indecisiveness. really.) so, derek took off to find something. and he brought take out from old chicago while i slept on the little couch (even though i hate the little couch) ... fettucine alfredo... and cheese cake (with crazy hidden strawberries). oh my god. so good.
...for the first time in like.... two years.... i couldn't sleep last night. so annoyed by that.
...i heart my philosophy lecture. highly amusing. the professor is hilarious "say, for just a moment, that gillian anderson is a huge fan of medieval philosophy, and has read my work, and loves my work. to the point of caring for me..... now, suppose..." he is so random. and he wanders around everywhere. and he talks like r3t2. *sniff* i miss my rob.
...dude.... blogger... it is NOT 8 in the am. you are stupid. i always have like.... three different times for stuff on blogger. and generally they're all wrong.
...ow ow ow. neck cramp. was stretching.... now have cramp. ooow. sonofabitch. that hurt.
...that's really all. i'm gonna go ask my dad for some money for lunch. mm. lunch.

i'm doing laundry. swingin saturday night. wooo.


actually, i'm happy to be home doing laundry. because it really needed to be done. my favorite jeans hadn't been washed in like... a week and a half. they could have stood up on their own. the cuffs were noticeably stiff. but, luckily, they're in the washing machine, gettin all cleeean. so, tomorrow at work, i'll be all fresh and clean. which is always nice. i enjoy being fresh and clean, instead of stale and smokey (if i'm going to stink like cigarettes, i want to at least have the satisfaction of having smoked one. but, since i don't smoke anymore...... *grumble* but, it's good. oh yessss it is.) so, now tomorrow i'll be super fresh. yay super fresh. i am much peppier at work when i feel nice. well, duh.


brad is doing something with the cable, trying to get cable teevee in his room. and he keeps cutting out the internet. it's making me a touch grouchy. but, it doesn't take too much to make me grouchy. so, i'll just write it off to the fact that i'm a raging bitch at times.


i really like when i'm doing laundry, and sorting stuff.... and i pull out a pair of pajamas from the last time i was at derek's and they smell like his house, and him and stuff. it makes me think of that song, 'pepper' "i can taste you on my lips and smell you in my clothes" . . . anywho....


i want to see 'die another day' again. there was just a thing on teevee about it, and i was like "wow, that was a fun movie." aw jeeze, i hate this computer. i gotta go. damn evil computer.

goddamn that open ended center dealie. good thing i'm super intelligent and fixed it. and you know what, i don't need to be a drag queen, because i totally dressed up as cyndi lauper on halloween. and i'd do it again. dude, speaking of cyndi lauper, i'm going to go download some more cyndi lauper songs. woooo!


worked today. it was much fun. until i got all sick and shaky and almost fainted (doh). so i went and sat down, then i was ok! and tamika and i dressed up with satin sashes from robes, and little leather ties from shirts. and i performed my interpretive dance. and sang for jess and thea and tamika. i really had a very good day. i'm in an excellent mood right now. i'm doing laundry. and wearing a shirt about laundry!! (it says "star suds" and it all pink and sparkly. i like it. it also says "open 24 hours.... we can do it all night!" and has a sparkly washing machine. i'm totally going to wear it to work tomorrow. even though i'm wearing it now.)


we went oot last night. to studio. it was much fun. drama ensued. but it was ok. gabe showed up, and i felt like i ought to freak out. because.... well, that's what i do when i see him, but i feel derek would have physically removed me had i freaked out. i don't even think he was there for more than five minutes. derek was like "don't freak out, gabe's here." and i was like "*GASP*" then, i really got over it. which is highly unusual. we had fun though. then derek stopped some people on the street to ask if we should have sex. *sigh* i personally think he should have asked the cop at kum and go. who recognized him. highly amusing. hmm, thang just asked if i wanna go out tonight. hm. i dunno. hmmmm. *ponders*


let's see. this is a really short blog. i composed a whole blog in my head on the way home. but i forgot most of it. *sigh* i'm going to go eat. i have eaten SO much today. uuuuuuuugh. yet, i'm gonna eat more. rawwwr, steer clear of me, or i'll eat you. i've just been that hungry. dude, i found this notebook the other day.... from like.... ninth grade, and it has all these messages between me and rachel on the outside. and she put a picture of a dinosaur with a fork and knife.... like stalking around looking for food. and all that's written is a little arrow to the dinosaur and "megan". it's so true. *goes stalking off for some foood.*

find YOUR drag persona


and go to mewing.net. where all the men wear skirts.







because i thought this picture was pretty, laura of mewing.net told me this: "you are an effervescent, happy person, but your friends and coworkers have noticed with dismay that you tend to bark like a dog and lick your knee, elbow, or wrist when left to your own devices. at the age of seven, you took a road trip with your family, and discovered that your favorite state is kentucky. at the age of twelve, you fell in love with the boy {or girl} next door, but were rejected in favor of your little sister. your career path involves animals and/or fashion design, but you will die alone and miserable at the age of 82."
whatever will laura tell you??



it's so true! *Sniffle* i had more to say, then i realized i've gotta go! bye!

sunday: hmmm, what happened sunday? i worked all day. 11-close. i've been working a lot this week. it's not so bad though. i don't remember if i went out sunday night or not. i may have watched fargo at derek's house *thinks* yes, yes i did. well, i think i did. i think that was sunday. can you believe i'd never seen fargo!? it was sooooo weird. so twisted and awful.... but good. coen brothers films are always like that. i really think that's all that happened on sunday. nothing notable at work.


monday: i don't remember what happened monday. man, when life is mundane, it's difficult to do a catch up blog. i'm not complaining though. *thinks* ah! i went to a funeral. it was sad. and i felt all crappy. theeen i worked.


tuesday: i worked allllllll day.


wednesday: class all day. and i made the discovery that the little hardly noticeable shaking in my car.... was actually reallllly bad. and serious.... and like, my front wheel could potentially fall off. which would be bad. so my dad took my car. to get it fixed. and i was highly distressed, because i was going to take allie to a movie and such. and i had to pick her up at piano lessons. but then, derek saved the day. he's good at that. he saved thursday too. and how do i repay him? i have dreams that he's mean. *sigh* i hereby vow to not have dreams that derek's mean. because he isn't, and all this distresses me.


thursday i worked. mmmm, then i went to studio 13, and i was totally NOT in a studio 13 mood, and even going at all was a bad decision. i had a good day, then like.... the second i was alone after work.... my energy just drained, and i was like .... all apathetic and sad. bah. but i'd already said i'd meet patrick.... so, i figured if i was going to go out and not have fun, i might as well drag derek down with me. it was wildly successful. now i'm at home, and i plucked my eyeybrows (thank GOD. they looked so bad. they made me sad. and not at all glad. *tries to think of more rhymes... fails.*) and now i have a pore refining mudmask on. my pores are going to be SO refined. go pores! wooo! *sigh* i'm such a dork, i don't understand why you guys hang out with me. i totally would not hang out with me. i mean, dorkiness aside i wouldnt' hang out with me..... but on a whole. jeeeesus! i'm just a mess.


it's still thursday.... so.... let's see.... what's up? nothing. boo. work wasn't good. it was until closing. then it sucked and made me sad. (apparently, i have two emotions. confused, and sad. oh wait! three! distressed, confused, and sad.... weeeell, maybe four. distressed, confused, sad, and hyper. hyper/happy always prompts derek to ask if i've been drinking.) and, paulina and i are gonna go to the pita pit tomorrow at 1:30. i'm super excited. i love hanging out with paulina. it's always on fridays. it's a tradition! yay! ok. i'm going to go to bed. g'night alll!

let's see. since we last talked.... what's up?


i had another mad-at-derek dream last night, i don't remember what it was.... i remember telling him about it, but not what it was. man. aaaaaanywho, i'd like to clarify that i don't have angry dreams because derek makes me mad, or because derek's mean, but because i'm a dork. and, i agree with missy, about it depending on sleeping. i think it happens because derek's pillow is like.... the biggest pillow in the entire world. and i can't sleep on it, so i don't, then i'm alll "aaah i don't have a pillow" and craziness ensues. or something to that effect. so, to solve this problem, i'm going to leave a spare pillow at derek's because i have THREE pillows. and i usually only use one or two at a time, so it would be beneficial to all if i just took care of this. yes. i would also like to mention that derek wasn't drunk last night, he could still rephrase things.... and rephrasing, my friends, is the sure sign of sobriety.


nothing bad came of my paranoid feeling the other day. well, my car broke again. but aside from that.... nothing. i've been driving derek's jeep, so i look all sexy whenever i'm driving, because jeeps are sexy. and so am i! wooo! *egotistic moment*


ok, i totally just realized missy's comment said she's going to be in iowa in ten days. OH MY GOD!!! i'm so excited, i haven't seen missy in forever! forever!!! ah!! yay!!! *flailflailflail* wait.... *consults calender* are you going to be here the weekend of the 11th, 12th, and 13th?!!?? because i'm going to be in milwaukee all weekend! nooooooooooo. *cries* maaaan. missy, call me! i don't know if you have my number.... but im me, and i'll give it to you. veryloudbeep. hey, i found out a bunch of people didn't get that my aim sn is veryloudbeep as in "that was a very loud beep, i don't even know if this is working, mark mark are you there..." etc etc. as in, rent. for those who have no idea what i'mt alking about.... oh well.


i have so many things to do. and all of them involve appointments with people (well, not ALL of them, but most.) and, i need to figure out what the hell my living situation is going to be next year. like, soon. because i'm going to move out in august. man, i kinda wish i could leave earlier, but eh. dude, a big piece of our house fell off. stupid shoddy trailer construction. oh, and the other night, i stopped home to get some stuff, and our teevee was gone. i was like "hmmm, brad either took it to patv, or someone stole the teevee." (brad took it, if you're wondering.)


hey, derek, i wanted to steal your la cage aux folles cd.... but it wasn't in the case. *sniffle*


i need to go blow dry my hair, because i'm gonna go to work. wooooohooooo work! (seriously) come see me! i'm such a dork at work. (well, i'm always a dork. but i'm REALLY dorky at work.) i'm all peppy. it's crazy.


i want to go swimming.


i am really not focused on blogging. i'm sorry. i really need to sit down and actually blog about events that have been occuring. not that there are a lot.... but still. ok, i will work on that. from sunday til today. i'll get RIGHT on that. i proooomise.

fine blogger, don't publish, just see if i care.


i'm home from work. oy. good day though. i feel pretty good. i kinda wanna go to studio 13 for the benefit dealie, because i told patrick i would..... but i can't get ahold of derek, and i don't wanna go alone. *sniffle*


i had SO much to blog about this morning. and now i'm drawing a blank. and hey, kyle, you ARE too one of my pals. i just haven't put your new journal there yet! settle down boy! sheesh!


i dont' have my nails on anymore, i took them off on the way home. so i can type. but i dont' feel like it. i feel really weird right now. uneasy.... like, something bad is going to happen, something bad happened..... it's really a scary feeling, but i'm trying to be rational and not dwell on it. but then again, it's unusual that i feel this scared for no real reason. i hope everyone's ok. an everything's ok. ok. i'm gonna go, and either sleep, or go to derek's (i'm genuinly worried something bad has happened to someone. . . it's like when i had that dream that matt doran was in a car wreck.... only i was at pv, and i had this dream, and it scared me so much that i called him at like five am. he was ok.... but i remembered the exact outfit he was wearing in my dream, and i was all scared EVERY time he wore that. dude.... i had a weird dream about derek this morning too.... hmm.) speaking of dreams.... i always have dreams that derek's a jerk to me, then i'm all grouchy and mad at him when i wake up .... and am like "grrr i hate you" (he's always still asleep, because i wake up at like, 3am, thinking he was just talking to me and being mean....) then i realize that it's 3am, and we weren't just fighting... we were sleeping. and i calm down and go back to sleep. i dont' think i had a dreamfight with him this morning.... but it was a freaky dream. which is maybe why i'm all freaked out now? i don't know. but i'm definitely feeling weird/scared/worried/paranoid. ok. i'm gonna go for real this time. now just watch, all my paranoia will be true, and this will be like the last you ever hear from me. wouldn't that be scary? whoa.

want.... to.... blog... REALLY neeeed... to.... shower....


why do i feel so gross this morning? my hair is skanky beyond all belief.... i'm all puffy, and my chin looks weird (i told derek this and he said i was whiny *whine*) maaan i have SOOOO much to blog about, but i work at 1, and i'm meeting my dad for lunch in a half hour. raawr. come see me at work, because i'll be there from 1 til abut 10. then there's a huuuuuge fundraiser at the que, for twb (tonight with bradman). which reminds me, i need to call ben and tell him to come. but first i need to shower, then i need to make myself loook at least KIND of nice.... well, i need to look awesome, our district manager is gonna be there all day..... and he ALWAYS has a problem with how i look. grr. i have a problem with how he looks too, but i certainly don't say anything. grr. ok, shower.