welcome to my soundtrack. so, the thing about these songs is that they all have lyrics that i, in some way or another, relate to. they're not necessarily my favorite songs (although i do like all of them), they're the ones that most directly personally relate to me. right. enjoy! (lyrics copyright their respective owners, i didn't write these, &c, &c, &c.)






"32 flavors"
by ani difranco

squint your eyes and look closer
i'm not between you and your ambition
i am a poster girl with no poster
i am 32 flavors and then some
and i'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you're going to get hungry
and eat most of the words you just said

both my parents taught me about good will
and i have done well by their names
just the kindness i've lavished on strangers
is more than i can explain
still there's many who've turned out their porch lights
just so i would think they were not home
and hid in the dark of their windows
till i'd passed and left them alone

and god help you if you are an ugly girl
course too pretty is also your doom
cause everyone harbors a secret hatred
for the prettiest girl in the room
and god help you if you are a phoenix
and you dare to rise up from the ash
a thousand eyes will smolder with jealousy
while you are just flying past
i'm not trying to give my life meaning
by demeaning you
and i would like to state for the record
i did everything that i could do
i'm not saying that i'm a saint
i just don't want to live that way
no, i will never be a saint
but i will always say

squint your eyes and look closer
i'm not between you and your ambition
i am a poster girl with no poster
i am 32 flavors and then some
and i'm beyond your peripheral vision
so you might want to turn your head
cause someday you might find you're starving
and eating all of the words you said

top


"as cool as i am"
by dar williams

yeah, there was a time i didn't like the love, i liked the climbers
i was no sister then, i was running out of time and one-liners
and i was afraid, like you are when you're too young to know the time, and
so i watched the way you take your fear and hoard the horizon
you point, you have a word for every woman you can lay your eyes on
like you own them just because you bought the time
and you turn to me, you say you hope i'm not threatened

oh, i'm not that petty
as cool as i am
i thought you'd know this already
i will not be afraid of women
i will not be afraid of women

so now we're at a club, you watch the woman dancing, she is drunk
she is smiling and she's falling in a slow, descending funk
and the whole bar is loud and proud and everybodys trying, yeah
you play the artist, saying, "is it how she moves, or how she looks?"
i say, it's loneliness, suspended to our own like grappling hooks
and as long as shes got noise, she's fine
but i could teach her how i learned to dance when the music's ended

oh, and that's not petty
as cool as i am
i thought you'd know this already
i will not be afraid of women
i will not be afraid of women.

you tried to make me doubt, to make me guess
tried to make me feel like a little less
oh, i liked you when your soul was bared
i thought you knew how to be scared
and now it's amazing what you did to make me stay
but truth is just like time
it catches up and it just keeps going

and so i'm leaving
you can find out how much better things can get
and if it helps, i'd say i feel a little worse than i did when we met
so when you find someone else
you can try again
it might work next time
you look out of the kitchen window and you shake your head and say low
"if i could believe that stuff, i'd say that woman has a halo"
and i look out and say, "yeah, she's really blond,"
and then i go outside and join the others
i am the others

oh, and that's not easy
i don't know what you saw
i want somebody who sees me
i will not be afraid of women
i will not be afraid of women

top


"cornflake girl"
by tori amos

never was a cornflake girl
thought that was a good solution
hangin with the raisin girls
she's gone to the other side
givin us a yo heave ho
things are getting kind of gross
and i go at sleepy time
this is not really happening
you bet your life it is

peel out the watchword
just peel out the watchword

she knows what's going on
seems we got a cheaper feel now
all the sweeteaze are gone
gone to the other side
with my encyclopedia
they musta paid her a nice price
she's puttin on her string bean love
this is not really happening
you bet your life it is

rabbit where'd you put the keys girl
and the man with the golden gun
thinks he knows so much
thinks he knows so much
rabbit where'd you put the keys girl

top





"falling for the first time"
by the barenaked ladies

i'm so cool, too bad i'm a loser
i'm so smart, too bad i can't get anything figured out
i'm so brave, too bad i'm a baby
i'm so fly, that's probably why it
feels just like i'm falling for the first time

i'm so green, it's really amazing
i'm so clean, too bad i can't get all the dirt off of me.
i'm so sane, it's driving me crazy
it's so strange, i can't believe it
feels just like i'm falling for the first time

anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
what if i lost my direction? what if i lost sense of time?
what if i nursed this infection? maybe the worst is behind
it feels just like i'm falling for the first time
it feels just like i'm falling for the first time

i'm so chill, no wonder it's freezing
i'm so still, i just can't keep my fingers out of anything
i'm so thrilled to finally be failing
i'm so done, turn me over cause it
feels just like i'm falling for the first time

anything plain can be lovely, anything loved can be lost
maybe i lost my direction, what if our love is the cost?
anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost
anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost
what if i lost my direction? what if i lost sense of time?
what if i nursed this infection? maybe the worst is behind

top


"hand in my pocket"
by alanis morissette

i'm broke but i'm happy
i'm poor but i'm kind
i'm short but i'm healthy, yeah
i'm high but i'm grounded
i'm sane but i'm overwhelmed
i'm lost but i'm hopeful baby

what it all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving a high five

i feel drunk but i'm sober
i'm young and i'm underpaid
i'm tired but i'm working, yeah
i care but i'm restless
i'm here but i'm really gone
i'm wrong and i'm sorry baby

what it all comes down to
is that everything's gonna be quite alright
'cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is flicking a cigarette
what it all comes down to
is that i haven't got it all figured out just yet
'cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is giving a peace sign

i'm free but i'm focused
i'm green but i'm wise
i'm hard but i'm friendly, baby
i'm sad but i'm laughing
i'm brave but i'm chicken shit
i'm sick but i'm pretty, baby

and what it all boils down to
is that no one's really got it figured out just yet
but i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is playing the piano
what it all comes down to my friends, yeah
is that everything's just fine fine fine
'cause i've got one hand in my pocket
and the other one is hailing a taxi cab

top


"hey jupiter"
by tori amos

no one's picking up the phone
guess it's me and me
and this little masochist
she's ready to confess
all the things that i never thought
that she could feel and

hey jupiter
nothing's been the same
so are you gay
are you blue
thought we both could use a friend
to run to
and i thought i wouldn't have to be
with you something new

sometimes i breathe you in
and i know you know
and sometimes you take a swim
found your writing on my wall
if my heart's soaking wet
boy your boots can leave a mess

hey jupiter
nothing's been the same
so are you gay
are you blue
thought we both could use a friend
to run to
and i thought you wouldn't have to keep
with me
hiding

thought i knew myself so well
all the dolls i had
took my leather off the shelf
your apocalypse was fab
for a girl who couldn't choose between
the shower or the bath
and i thought i wouldn't have to be
with you
a magazine

no one's picking up the phone
guess it's clear he's gone
and this little masochist
is lifting up her dress
guess i thought i could never feel
the things i feel

hey jupiter
so are you gay
are you blue
thought we both could use a friend to run to
hey jupiter
nothing's been the same
so are you safe
now we're through
thought we both could use a friend to run to
hey jupiter

top


"philosophy"
by ben folds won't you look up at the skyline
at the mortar, block, and glass
and check out the reflections in my eyes?
you see they always used to be there
even when this all was grass
and i sang and danced about a high-rise
and you were laughing at
my helmet hat,
laughing at
my torch

go ahead you can laugh all you want
but i got my philosophy
(keeps my feet on the ground)
and I trust it like the ground
and that's why my philosophy
it keeps me walking when i'm falling down

i see that there is evil
and I know that there is good
and the in-betweens i never understood
won't you look at me I'm crazy,
but i get the job done
yeah, i'm crazy, but i get the job done
and i say:
go ahead you can laugh all you want
but i got my philosophy
(keeps my feet on the ground)
and I trust it like the ground
and that's why my philosophy
it keeps me walking when i'm falling down

i pushed you 'cause i loved you guys
i did not realize
you weren't having fun
and i dragged you up the stairs
and i told you to fly
you were flapping your arms
you started to cry, you were too high
too high

you take this all for granted
you take the mortar, block, and glass
and you forget the speech and move the stone
but it's really not that you can't see
the forest for the trees
you never been out in the woods alone

go ahead you can laugh all you want
but i got my philosophy
(keeps my feet on the ground)
and i love you, you're my friend
but you've got no philosophy
and now it's time for this song to end

top


"pixie"
by ani difranco

i'm a pixie
i'm a paperdoll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
i always give

the man behind the counter looks like he's got
a half a dozen places he'd rather be
and furthermore it looks like he's prepared
to take it all out on me
buddy, i don't really care what your problem is
just don't make it mine
come on kids, let's all hold hands
and pretend we're having a good time

maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up and be nice

all the privileged white kids on tv
playing at death
brandishing their cold cuts
with their ghostly makeup
and their heroin breath
and all the little fishes are flapping wildly
on their hooks
while all the top critics find great meaning
in the telephone book

the little emperor he has no clothes
so he can't come out to play
and besides which life is suffering
and he likes it that way
and the little guy is not so friendly
but you know life has been cruel
so wipe that smile off your face baby
and try to be cool

maybe you don't like your job
maybe you didn't get enough sleep
well, nobody likes their job
nobody got enough sleep
maybe you just had
the worst day of your life
but, you know, there's no escape
and there's no excuse
so just suck up and be nice

yeah, i would like to perfect the art
of being studiously aloof
like life is just a boring chore
and i am living proof
i could join forces with an army
of ornery hipsters
but then i guess i'd be out of a job
so i guess that's out of the picture

cuz i'm a pixie
i'm a paperdoll
i'm a cartoon
i'm a chipper cheerful free for all
and i light up a room
i'm the color me happy girl
miss live and let live
and when they're out for blood
i always give

top


"somewhere in new mexico"
by jill sobule

i have a friend who swears she saw jesus
hovering above her lonely bed
she said it changed her life forever
"whatever works" i said
all afternoon i change the channels
it's so hard to concentrate
i laugh at her, but i'm pretty sure
she's having a better day

maybe i'll lay on the highway somewhere in new mexico
and wait for a strange light to come and take me home
maybe i'll stand by the statue and wait for her to cry
i wanna see real tears and be sincere once before i die

the other night i talked to an old flame
who finally said why he moved on
he said i didn't have faith in anything
i knew he wasn't wrong
i saw two lovers in the park
with that dreamy look of lust in their eyes
the whole world smiled as they passed by
they just make me mad

maybe i'll lay on the highway somewhere in new mexico
and wait for a strange light to come and take me home
maybe i'll stand by the statue and wait for her to cry
take this jaded heart, blow it all apart, once before i die

i'll get down on my knees, something i don't believe
somebody help me please, i'm starting to repeat myself
i'm starting to repeat myself

maybe i'll stay on the highway somewhere in new mexico
and wait for a strange light to come and take me home
maybe i'll stand by the statue and wait for her to cry
i'd love to see a miracle once before i die
once before i die

top


"take to the sky"
by tori amos

this house is like russia
with eyes cold and grey
you got me moving in a circle
i dyed my hair red today
i just want a little passion
to hold me in the dark
i know i've got some magic
buried deep in my heart yeah

but my priest says
you ain't savin no souls
my father says
you ain't makin any money
my doctor says
you just took it to the limit
and here i stand
with this sword in my hand
you can say it one more time
what you don't like
let me hear it one more time then
have a seat while i
take to the sky
take to the sky

my heart is like the ocean
it gets in the way
so close to touching freedom
then i hear the guards call my name

and my priest says
you ain't savin no souls
my father says
you ain't makin any money
my doctor says
you just took it to the limit
and here i stand
with this sword in my hand
you can say it one more time
what you don't like
let me hear it one more time then
have a seat while i
take to the sky
take to the sky

if you don't like me just a little
why do you hang around

there she goes again
wearing those purple panties
there she goes again
wearing her heart
there she goes again


why do you
take it, take it, take it
this house is like russia
you can say it one more time
you can say it one more time
you can say it one more time
what you don't like
let me hear it one more time
then have a seat while i
take to the sky
take to the sky
take to the sky
take to the sky

top


"there's always someone cooler than you"
by ben folds

smile
like you've got nothing to prove
no matter what you might do
there’s always someone out there cooler than you

i know that's hard to believe
but there are people you meet
they're into something that is too big to be
expressed
through their clothes
and they'll put up with all the poses you throw
and you won't
even know

that they're not sizing you up
they know your mom fucked you up
or maybe let you watch too much tv

but they'll still look in your eyes
to find the human inside
you know there’s always something in there to see

beneath
the veneer
not everybody made the list this year
have a beer

make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
but there's always someone cooler than you
yeah, you're the shit
but you won't be it for long
oh, there's always someone cooler than you
yeah, there's always someone cooler than you

now that i've got the disease
in a way i'm relieved
cause i don't have to stress about it like you do
i might just get up and dance
or buy some acid washed pants
if you don't care
then you got nothing to lose

and i won't
hesitate
cause every moment life is slipping away
it’s ok

make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
but there's always someone cooler than you
yeah, you're the shit
but you won't be it for long
oh, there's always someone cooler than you
yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
oh, there's always someone cooler than

life is wonderful
life is beautiful
we're all children of
one big universe
so you don’t have to be
a chump

and you know
that i won't
hesitate
cause every moment life is slipping away
it's ok

make me feel tiny if it makes you feel tall
but there's always someone cooler than you
yeah, you're the shit
but you won't be it for long
oh, there's always someone cooler than you
yeah, there's always someone cooler than you
oh, there's always someone cooler than




top

"where do i go?"
from hair by galt mac dermot, gerome ragni, and james rado

where do i go
follow the river
where do i go
follow the gulls

where is the something
where is the someone
that tells me why i live and die

where do i go
follow the children
where do i go
follow their smiles

is there an answer
in their sweet faces
that tells me why i live and die

follow the wind song
follow the thunder
follow the neon in young lovers' eyes

down to the gutter
up to the glitter
into the city
where the truth lies

where do i go
follow my heartbeat
where do i go
follow my hand

where will they lead me
and will i ever
discover why i live and die

why do i live
why do i die
tell my why
tell me where
tell me why
tell me why

top