How is the role of mother affecting the work now, versus when your daughter was first born?
I didn't want her looking and hearing me and thinking, "Oh my God, that's a scary lady!" There are enough scary rock & roll mothers in the world. I'm able to explain now that the woman who comes and reads bedtime stories and hangs out with her is different than the woman who walks behind that piano. I think this is the first time she's able to differentiate that. Now that there's that buffer, there are things in the world it's time to confront. There is an energy that you carry when you're nurturing another life where you're protecting first -- and once you know that cub is out of the way of the hunter's gun, you can be a little more daring.
Do you get frustrated with the labels that have attached themselves to you -- like "Queen of the Fairies" or New Age-y? Do you feel they undermine what it is you're trying to say?
I find it amusing, and my very cynical British husband finds it extremely amusing. He's basically said, "If anybody badmouths a fairy, they'll get their dick cut off in Cornwall." You just don't do that. It's like insulting cab drivers in New York.
she's sooo self-aware about her craziness. SHE IS PRETTY MUCH THE BEST EVER.
eta: i just realzied that that is actually stale craziness. there was a newish article about american doll posse that quoted from that interview and linked to it. but i guess that was just lazy reporting. whatever, it was new to me and, i presume, to you.
posted by ~renata~ at 8:06 PM
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listening to: mary chapin carpenter, something of a dreamer
best recent impulse purchase: amish vegetable yogurt cheese. YUMS.
what was i going to blog about? i opened this window and started eating delicious cheese and lost track. mmm, delicious cheese.
here is a great moment from prison today:
me: ... so for next week we're reading much ado about nothing. jason: that sounds really chick-ish. annie: did you just say CHICK-ISH? me (shrilly, some might say chick-ishly): it's william shakespeare!! ... anyway, scholars consider much ado about nothing to be shakespeare's most chick-ish play. annie: it's actually the subtitle. much ado about nothing: my chick-ish play.
also at prison group lunch today, i told laura and emily about how i stayed up too late reading and talking about mary worth and neither of them had heard of mary worth. whores.
also my lips are really chapped and then i keep picking off all the dry lip skin. it's gross. i know. but irresistable. i wish i could find my lip exfoliator. don't make fun of me. lip exfoliator is a crucial and necessary product. that's why i have two tins of it. but i can't find EITHER of them and now my lips are TOTALLY FOLIATED and i need to EX them. DAMMIT. the trials of this modern life are IMPOSSIBLY DIFFICULT.
You scored as Existentialist. Existentialism emphasizes human capability. There is no greater power interfering with life and thus it is up to us to make things happen. Sometimes considered a negative and depressing world view, your optimism towards human accomplishment is immense. Mankind is condemned to be free and must accept the responsibility.
also i had a mildly creepy experience in civil war history today. we broke up into small groups to analyze documents, as we do sometimes, and my group was myself, my friendly-acquaintance laura, and this kid who very rarely talks in class, and when he does it is in a whisper. however, it turns out that whisper kid is something of a military history buff, and he proceeded to whisper intense, lengthy, in depth military analyses to us.
takes all sorts i guess!
also in radical movements professor silva alluded to bill and ted's bogus journey. ACTUALLY he called it excellent adventure, but the events to which he referred clearly took place in bogus journey. also apparently the scene when they play twister & other games with death is drawn from the ingmar bergman film the seventh seal, in which someone plays chess with death? WHO KNEW.
posted by ~renata~ at 12:04 PM
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Sunday, February 25, 2007
listening to: rachael sage, souvenir
colds are bad :(
but finally submitting my peace corps application is good :)
i submitted the health questionaire too. now i just have like 340932 more steps. please take me, peace corps. take me and send me somewhere great.
ahhh i'm so cold and i can't breathe and my sneezes are intense. INTENSE.
here's what's up with me: i'm sick :( blahhhhh. last night i tried to fend it off with juice but was unsuccessful: the grille closed early due to the power outage. i tried to get vitamin water from one of the vending machines, but i guess the power outage reset the prices, or else inflation is out of control on this campus, because it told me the price of a vitamin water was $99.99. THEN i tried a different vending machine that also had juice in it. i put $1 in and it spat out four quarters. okay then.
but today i DID get a naked juice. POWER-C, which is far inferior to TROPICAL-C, but i guess it'll do.
also ice storm '07 seems to have broken the internet in my room, although it works in the lab downstairs. for now.
and i did end up successfully seeing borat last night (finally!) i liked ittt although it's not my new favorite movie or anything. still though... very nice.
i want to go see borat at 10:30, but i'm afraid harris won't actually be showing movies. i don't know. the power's been back for awhile. but harris movies are a crapshoot even with perfect weather. it is showing at 1:30, but i have to watch a movie for disability lit and another history movie tomorrow?? what is uppp with all the movies, classes. honestly.
posted by ~renata~ at 9:28 PM
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listening to: indigo girls, this train revised
WHOA BUDDY this weather is ON NOTICE.
first, i almost diiied walking to the history film this afternoon. the gross slush all froze over and it was just sheets of ice. there's a slight hill between here and arh (where the film was being shown); usually i don't even notice it but a strong gust of wind came at me while i was painstakingly climbing the hill and i was pretty sure i was going to end up back across the train tracks. also a huge frozen branch fell off a tree as i was passing by. eep! luckily it wasn't actually over the sidewalk, but still.
and then the power went out with like 15 minutes left in the movie. doh. (turns out: not about castro or guatemala. also not a documentary. i guess it was like an anti-communist propaganda movie? or just... a movie? i don't know. it was really, really funny. like, intentionally funny. ah: The story of a young man's attempt to fight the system is an entertaining and hilarious account of galloping bureaucracy and the tyranny of red tape. With Death of a Bureaucrat, Alea pays homage to the history of film comedy--from the anarchic tradition of Bunuel and Vigo, to the satire of Billy Wilder and the physical comedy of silent greats Harold Lloyd and Buster Keaton. An adventurous mix of slapstick farce and paranoid nightmare make this comedy a rich and enjoyable frenzy of laughter. Spanish with English subtitles.)
anyway, so the power was out all afternoon. i did some reading and some cleaning and i called home. calls home are generally: 1/3 updates on my grandpa's descent into madness, 1/3 updates on the cats, and 1/3 miscellany.
today's cat update was particularly great. mom: ... so esther is missing. me: who's esther? mom: oh, that orange cat that i got from that lady at work. he's actually a boy, but reid named him after the phish song, and i like the name, and anyway he'll be neutered soon so what does it matter? me: that's a very progressive view on gender, mom. mom: i try! anyway, so i've been letting him in the house and he's really friendly, but magneto and ronery really hate him. but he's been missing lately. i don't know. we haven't found his body anywhere, so i don't think he got hit by a car or anything. and he's so friendly, i'm sure he's not hiding in the house or anything. i think what happened is magneto pushed him in the furnace. me: ... uh huh. mom: yeah, reid and dad think i'm crazy, but i see the look in magneto's eyes. me: sounds like you need cat csi. mom: i thought of that, but they need a body. me: oh right. cat without a trace. mom: yeah, i should get them on it. anyway, so i'll keep you posted, but i'm pretty sure magneto killed him and hid the body. me: well... i hope you guys find esther. mom: me too. oh, magneto says hi.
OH CATS. OH MOM.
tonight there is an improv show and also borat at harris! i want to go to both but i am afraid i will die walking all the way to harris. there is also an alum standup comedian but it interferes with improv. and i heart improv. why are there always 234903 things i want to do on one night and 0 on the others? wah wah wah i'm going to improv now.
posted by ~renata~ at 7:36 PM
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on the way to brunch i saw a huge fallen frozen branch on the sidewalk, and it reminded me of one time in high school when trina and i were talking about how beautiful the frozen trees were and miriam said "i hate them, they make the branches break and fall and it's dangerous" and we said "miriam stop being so depressing." it is a false binary of course, the frozen trees are beautiful AND dangerous.
also there is like a 2-inch deep covering of slush on every surface. it's gross and cold.
i'm going to make some tea and then go watch the documentary death of a bureaucrat. i think it is about fidel castro. or guatemala. eh, whatever.
posted by ~renata~ at 12:42 PM
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listening to: cabaret, don't tell mama
oh nooo my light just started flickering! i have one light fixture in my room. it has three bulbs, two of which have burned out. i have been reluctant to do anything about the situation because a) i'm lazy and b) i've been relying on lightbulb #3. crap. i don't even know how to fix it. i think fm is supposed to fix lights for us? maybe? argh.
also argh, i feel like i'm coming down with some sort of sorethroaty cold thing. uncool.
also the weather outside is naaast. it got pretty warm the last few days and most of the snow melted, but there are still spots of dirty, stubborn snow. but then in hailed really bad yesterday, so now there are like... icy mud patches. and it's raining right now. curse you, wintry mix!
so i put itunes on shuffle and it went to an hour-long mp3 i have that is, thus far, an npr pledge drive for a station i don't recognize. yet there must be a reason i have it, so i am continuing to listen to the pledge drive. oh okay, five minutes in: it's an interview with john hodgman. MYSTERY SOLVED.
i am such a good detective.
i opened this like... an hour ago, when i still debating over whether or not to go to the pec. now it's storming, so, NOPE. tomorrow, though. tomorrow for real.
unless it's raining hard.
okay now several more hours have passed. this is the post that never happened.
now i'm listening to: lisa loeb, jenny jenkins
i have to highly recommend this song. it plays on her website when you first go there. it's so, so cute and catchy. i just keep replaying it. so cute.
anyway there's been some big drama on cb and it has completely blocked any progress of any sort i might have made this evening. oh, cb.
i am tired of feeling like if i can just make it to noon friday i can collapse. it's true though, and in fact i plan on collapsing shortly.
but first i guess i'm blogging?
scrabble club last night was so great. it started off with sarah and i both confessing that we had left legitimate commitments (my documentary about fidel castro, her student staff meeting) early in order to be on time for scrabble. also, emily came, and her presence really called attention to how ridiculous we are.
jenny: i think QA is a word. me, mark, & sarah: (simultaneously, instantly, and completely shocked) WHAT?! REALLY?? ARE YOU SURE?? emily: wow, that was quite an upset.
(fyi: QA is not a word, but QI is.)
jenny: is lite-r a word? ["lite" was already on the board] mark: well, liter is. jenny: oh! right. mark: it happens to everyone, it's the scrabble mindset. emily: this game is really good for demonstrating the disconnect between the signifier and the signified!
umm there was more. but i forget. basically a lot of intense scrabble nerdery. it was a poor scrabble night for me, however--i didn't break 100 in either game. ugh. i mean, 4 and 5 player games aren't high scoring in general, but i definitely did not bring my a-game last night. haha... or maybe i should say i didn't bring my z-game... because... z is worth more points... you see... yesi'mawesome.
let's see. lunch with rosemarie garland-thompson was delicious on an intellectual AND culinary level! except for a few obnoxious contributions from my classroom nemeses. sometimes dudes need to shut up. of course i made my own awkward rambling contribution, but... i like to think i'm more charming with my awkwardness. or something? la la la.
whew. i feel betterbetterbetter. i finished the b&s and sent it off to copyeditor ian. i went to yoga. i printed off my art history readings (and read 2 pages of them!). i watched the daily show. i went to all my classes. i went to the lincoln archive talk. i ate crackers and salsa. (note to self, buy chips.)
tomorrow i get to have lunch with rosemary garland thompson! she kind of like invented disability studies! ahhh!
okay i'm going to go to bed so that maybe if i fall asleep and awake up like a normal person i have the potential of EIGHT HOURS OF SLEEP. HOW NOVEL.
posted by ~renata~ at 11:46 PM
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listening to: paul simon, run that body down
random amusing quotes: "castro was basically just chillin in the mountains." "just chillin in the mountains?" "yeah, that was actually the new york times headline on may 3rd, i believe."
"he was a crazy person. for abraham lincoln."
i think this song is going to be kind of the theme song of my semester. well pretty much... every grinnellian's semester.
kid, you better look around how long you think that you can run that body down? how many nights you think that you can do what you been doin? who, now, who you foolin? who, now, who you foolin?
how many nights do i think that i can do what i've been doin? what i've been doin at nights is staying up too late and wasting time on shit like facebook. facebook, honestly. probably i will continue to do it and continue to be a cranky tired person. it's how i roll.
today i decided to take a shower instead of finishing my reading for civil war. it worked though, because in class we listened to civil war songs and discussed them, rather than the reading. thanks, cosmic homework forces! also we talked about music in contemporary politics and how candidates still have campaign songs, and someone mentioned that al gore's was "you can call me al". THAT IS SO GREAT. i want to go vote for al gore right now. even though he's not running for anything. i just want to go cast a ballot for al gore. and then call him al.
listening to: ben kweller, penny on the train track sittin' in the compy lab working on the b&s (mostly done!) and listening to lastfm radiooo.
tonight here are some things lastfm thought i would enjoy: - marilyn manson - evanescence - jewel - ashlee simpson - avril levigne
anywayyyy so yeah, mostly done with b&s. stephen kuusisto's reading was really good and funny. also i lent him my headphones because he needed some for his reading (he has a computer "read" it to him and then he says it i guess?) and i have like, behind-the-ear clipping earbuds and he couldn't get them onnn and he was like standing up there forever feeling all around them and joking about how futuristic they were and i felt irrationally like a jerk, like i had intentionally given complicated headphones to a blind dude. so awkward. i'd blog some cute moments from the reading but i'm super tired alla sudden so maybe tomorrow.
ughh i think i just finished my art paper. it's so crap. i feel especially bad since we didn't have class at all last week and she didn't give us any extra reading or anything, just asked us to spend extra time on our papers. which. didn't happen. WHATEVER i have the excuse of being the only non-art history major in the class. i don' know things. my last art history class was on early renaissance art. that was like 500 years ago, daaamn.
seriously though, this paper. what.
Helen Frankenthaler wrote of her admiration for the way Jackson Pollock “ignored the edges and corners” in his art (Elderfield 67). However, as John Elderfield points out, Pollock “did refer to edges and corners in consciously turning back his curving trails of paint as they approached the perimeters of a picture” (67). The work Tunk Mountains, Autumn, Maine by John Marin seems as though it would be more influential for Frankenthaler’s approach to edges than Pollock’s work. Elderfield writes that both Marin and Cezanne were influential to Frankenthaler for “the unusual luminosity without loss of solidity such direct transference achieved” (68). Yet it seems that Frankenthaler took more from Marin than just his oil paint thinning technique. In many ways, Marin’s painting seems to be a more direct predecessor to Frankenthaler’s Mountains and Sea than any of Pollock’s drip paintings.
does that even mean anything. no. at least there is vegetarian broccoli cheese soup at lunch today. i will drown my bad student blues in liquid cheese. and broccoliiii i eat broccoli every dayyyy it is a superfood.
remember how i tried to convince myself i wouldn't actually care about my art history grade? i'm never going to be able to pull it off, i'll just slack and then whine about it.
remember how i got 4 hours of sleep again and remember how that is insufficient? here is my schedule for the rest of the day.
renata: sophiii what do you know about art history sophi: very little renata: same here and i have to write a paper for it :( renata: i kind of want to drop this class sophi: I win! renata: just so i don't have to write this paper renata: or any other papers sophi: I'd do it renata: or read about it renata: i don't really need the class sophi: there you go renata: i wonder when the deadline to take something pass/fail is renata: how awesome would it be to take an art history class pass/fail renata: it would be the ultimate slacker gesture sophi: yessss renata: aww nuts it was like 2 weeks ago renata: why couldn't i have more time to decide to be a slacker sophi: because you're an over achiever renata: stupes renata: instead i guess i'm forced to lower my personal standards renata: c's get degrees, sophi sophi: aim low, renata sophi: and you won't miss renata: i might still land among the stars renata: like the southern hemisphere ones sophi: go for your dreams renata: my dreams of putting little effort into art history sophi: BE ALL YOU CAN BE
so i'm working on the b&s in the computer lab, and i'm listening to my personal last.fm radio station, which i've never done before. this is the second time it's played "abc" in the like... 20 minutes i've been listening to it. rock on, personal radio station. rock on.
eta: also now it's playing "piece of my heart" by janis joplin for the 2nd time. yet it's only played one tori song ("winter") thus far. HMMMM.
eta again: OK now it's on its second play of "let the cool goddess rust away" by clap your hands say yeah. LASTFM you are picking the weirdest songs to repeat. askldas also i just skipped "cool goddess..." and it went to... ABC.
that's cool though, you can play abc as many times as you want, lastfm.
eta again: "jailhouse rock" just hit its 3rd play. tori and paul simon are still at 1 track each. lastfm, i do not understand your mysteries.
ahhh sitting around waiting for "midget," the assistant director of camp ge, to call for my phone interview. kind of nervous for no real reason! drank a lot of coffee! woke up at 7am and couldn't fall back to sleep! my abs really hurt from last night's failed attempts at upward bow pose!
but! i heard officially that the history department hired our favorite candidate! <3 <3 <3 actually it was funny, at 100 days i ran into sarah and she told me she heard a rumor they were hiring albert, and then i ran into ana and she told me she heard a rumor they were hiring albert, and then i ran into tyler and told him i heard a rumor they were hiring albert. the history sepc knows how to have fun, i tell you what.
still waiting :O she was supposed to call at 12, and i said "maybe a little after 12 would be best, in case my class runs over late" and now it's like 12:30? now i'm getting twitchy like, maybe i misunderstood and i was supposed to call--okay she called in the middle of that sentence. i passed the interview, hooray. cge, here i come. after i come to graduation and the sln roadtrip, woo!
again: so unproductive. this week will be lame, and i have no one to blame but myself.
yoga tonight was kind of lame too, our regular instructor was sick so the student leaders put on a yoga dvd. which would be fine, but this was like a really difficult and fast-paced video instructor. he would literally say "inhale, exhale" at like... regular conversational speed. ie not enough time to actually inhale and exhale. and he was obsessed with warrior 2. and he did bow pose like 5 times. which i can't do once. let alone 5 times. i felt better afterwards when everyone was like, "dude, that was hard." it wasn't just me, hoorah.
helloooo. i am not hungover today but i do have cramps wahhh D:
i have been moderately productive today; i read HISTORY WILL ABSOLVE ME by fidel castro and another essay that did not, in fact, absolve fidel. i cleaned the hot chocolate stain off my floor. i read several of steven kuusisto's blog entries. he and his wife have a very interesting blog, i recommend it. he is coming to visit our disability lit class on wednesday. or is it tomorrow. hmm. sometime soon he will come visit our class. he is blind and an excellent writer and his name has two u's in a row. IN A ROW.
also i spent a lot of time looking at the camp tapawingo facebook group i set up. i've been so nostalgic for camp the last week or so, it's been ridiculous. i'm sure it's at least partly triggered by the phone interview i have tomorrow with the assistant director of camp green eyrie (aka chick pea's camp). i don't know. i'm excited about the change, i think the new camp sounds very nice and i loved working with chick pea before and i'm excited about my potential position and also it pays rather more than tapawingo and i'm excited that it gives me the opportunity to live on the east coast for a few months. and cge's schedule fits with the sln roadtrip. basically, it's snuggles all around. plus, very few of my friends are returning to camp this summer (and a few... non-friends.. are.) plus the higher-ups at camp t have proven themselves to be crazy and disrespectful of staff.
basically there are 1000 good reasons for me to switch camps this summer, but on one level... i don't know. i went there for so long as a camper and 2 years as staff, and god knows i have some terrible memories of the place but also a lot of great ones.
hey guys. what's up. i'm kind of drunk. i've never really been drunk before. it kind of feels like post-yoga time. i don't know. admission to 100 days included 4 mixed drinks and i only drank 3 before it closed. but they were pretty strong drinks. also i drank 2 glasses of wine beforehand.
anyway 100 days was fun and not that awkward. i'm glad i went.
i made out with 4 people. that is more people than i made out with before in my life. but not that many people by 100 days standards.
here are the demographics of people i made out with: 1 gay dude 1 bi dude 1 lesbian 1 straight lady
3/4 of them did grinnell-in-london
the straight girl was jenny
the bi guy was my friend jon, who dressed up as captain planet for halloween
before 100 days we played "grinnell apples to apples" at jenny and eszter's. it was good times. jenny and eszter made it (but later i made a few cards). there are like 15 anne frank cards in the deck. at one point i had two anne frank cards in my hand. terrible people y/n?
what was i going to say. something about how i should work on the b&s today and i don't want toooo. also tonight is 100 days. hmm. 100 days is a big seniors-only party to celebrate there being 100 days (ish) until graduation. the goal of the party is to get drunk and make out with all the members of your class that you would like to. it is not normally the kind of event i would attend, but... it's 100 days. the thing is, and i hope this does not sound horrible, is that there aren't really any members of my class with whom i would particularly like to drunkenly make out. however there are a few from whom i fear i would violently recoil if they tried coming near me. it would be awkward. please creepy people, stay away from me tonight.
WHOA this week's house episode probably just won prizes for: - saddest episode (except maybe dead lesbian baby episode) - grossest episode - most WTF-inducing episode (RE CAMERON) -- seriously i said "WHAT" out loud and made a face like 0_0. and also like :O - house/cuddiest episode - chase wore a hat episode
eta: now i'm watching some season 2 episodes on dvd and i'm just going to keep editing with a random running commentary, as neither sophi nor tara are available for me to yell at.
- q: is anything greater than when chase says "mate"? a: no. - a2: except maybe cameron getting exposed to hiv. - also maybe when super flamboyant aids patient yells at cameron for not being angry. - cameron should be stoned all the time. - remember stacy? - asjkdaskdas also wilson should always talk in a fake australian accent. - "chase loves me. and isn't turkish." - ok if cameron can't be stoned all the time i think valleygirl cameron would be okay too.
posted by ~renata~ at 10:24 PM
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awww i just read a classmate's plan and apparently he really hates civil war history. and professor purcell. but i love them both. i will admit that i pretty much hate all the econ majors in the class. apparently one of the requirements for the econ major is a 200-level history class that relates to economics, and civil war is one of the approved ones? anyway, i hate them. get out of my major. stop spending 10 minutes of class time debating the definition of "wealth." it doesn't matter. however you define it, the north had more. additionally, today we were discussing some cartoons and one of the econ majors said "do historians really think cartoons are valid sources?" OBV. this was after he said "i think we're spending too much time analyzing what the people are supposed to represent. does it really matter?" >:O apparently i feel strongly about this. it feels good to vent.
also, i hate how burned out and useless i feel by the end of every week. i kind of feel like i just want to lay in bed pitifully and watch house for awhile and then go to bed. i don't feel like i have the energy to socialize or even be productive. like i was going to clean out my email inbox because i consistently get "inbox is over its size limit" messages. but then it just seemed like so much work. it doesn't help that grinnell's email interface is totally stupes and doesn't allow you to check a whole page at a time. you have to individually select each email. uncool.
i did find the energy to update adium. it claims it has fixed all the problems with group chatting. let us hope so, for the sake of all the groups with whom i chat!
2.) here is one half of an email from my grandfather. Does Grinnell College have school colors? Do they have a mascot? Do you engage in inter mural games? thanks for taking a superficial interest in my school 3 months before i graduate, crazy grandpa. that's cool.
posted by ~renata~ at 7:42 PM
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ps one of my big internet pet peeves is when links are SECRETLY to pdf files but pretend like they are regular links. it is almost as bad as secret video links (CNN I'M LOOKING AT YOU.) but anyway i just confirmed via secret pdf link that the university of illinois is getting rid of their chief illiniwek mascot! ahhh excitiing! i don't know how to say this to non-illinoisians, but chief illiniwek is kind of a big deal. a big offensive deal that people protested for like, ever, and that no one really thought would actually ever go away.
so, hooray! let's just hope their new mascot isn't like blackie the black guy or something.
oh friends, i make poor choices. and/or awesome choices. like yesterday, i decided to look at sophi's furry porn for like an hour and watch the office and play scrabble and didn't finish writing my paper until 4:30am. why. i looked it over at 10 am (after radical movements, before civil war) and it was actually pretty coherent. exact page limit (5 full pages, not 4 pages and 1 sentence), proper footnote style... well done, sleep-deprived renata. well done. i'm not saying it's a great paper, by any means, but at least it doesn't outwardly betray that it was written by a sleep-deprived furry enthusiast.
the worst part of last night was that my skin is so dry and i got so fidgety that now all my nails are super short and most of my cuticles are picked-at and bloody. GROSS and also OUCH.
anyway, after class i went on a super errand-running spree! yesss so many accomplishments: printer, inter-library loan desk, financial aid office, registrar's office (for commencement confirmation; i ended up deciding to sit with the humanities majors), student affairs, and post office! and lunch.
my master plan was to take a nap after all that, but now i'm kind of on an errand-accomplishing adrenaline rush. maybe i'll just lie down and read for a bit, i'm sure the less-than-four hours of sleep will catch up with me sooner or later.
oh also! not sure when my blog turned into all obama, all the time BUT i just read in the s&b that obama is the top choice for commencement speaker!! the article said he was interested but wasn't sure he could commit right now because he didn't know what his schedule would be. fair enough i suppose, but the commencement committee said they would rescind the invitation he he didn't confirm by the end of february. c'mon obama, come rock my graduation. do it.
posted by ~renata~ at 2:03 PM
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Thursday, February 15, 2007
listening to: s&g, 59th street bridge song
i have made basically no progress on my paper. i cannot believe i haven't failed school yet.
here is what i have done: - looked at all the furry porn sophi sent me (this is the best one. aka it's terrible, don't look at it.) - came in 2nd at scrabble by 4 points! intenseeee - watched the office - graded math - ate cookies
(100%) 1: Sen. Barack Obama (D) (86%) 2: Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D) (86%) 3: Sen. John Kerry (D) (85%) 4: Retired Gen. Wesley Clark (D) (80%) 5: Gov. Bill Richardson (D) (79%) 6: Ex-VP Al Gore (D) (78%) 7: Sen. Christopher Dodd (D) (75%) 8: Ex-Sen. John Edwards (D) (73%) 9: Gov. Tom Vilsack (D) (72%) 10: Sen. Hillary Clinton (D)
work today was pretty lame, cuz mary and dick (supreme dining service overlords) were lurking around all morning so i couldn't steal cookies like usual. also my whiny co-worker was extra whiny. damn girl, if you hate this job so much then quit, don't ruin my job too by bitchin gabout how you hate to wear aprons and how you hate orange juice.
also ruth, my part-time supervisor, thinks my name is christine. i've corrected her a few times and i wear a nametag on my head, but no, i'm christine. i don't think anyone named christine even works at outtakes. like, ever.
but whatevs, another day another dollar. or another shift, another $20ish.
anyway. nearly done with the week. i need to write my history paper. it's due tomorrow and i have like, a paragraph, but i just can't get motivated about it. i just feel like it's going to be really easy once i get started. i am pretty sure i could write 5 pages on gender issues in abolitionist propaganda in my sleep by this point in my grinnell career.
wtf i just checked myspace and i have some creepy random friend requests (including a 40-year-old man from a nearby town who apparently runs a computer repair place and has the most hideous, obnoxious profile ever... would not trust him with my computer) which is par for the course for myspace. but also i'm the member of another group now? i am sure i didn't join a group. and i didn't think you could just get added to groups without your consent. maybe i accidentally joined it somehow? except i don't think i've ever seen this group before. all i can figure is... i'm a member of the camp t myspace group, and this new group is called "i heart camp" so maybe someone saw i was in one camp group and invited me to join another one and i accidentally accepted? why did i just write a whole paragraph about a myspace group? BECAUSE THAT'S THE KIND OF PERSON I AM APPARENTLY.
Obama eyes the West Wing, not "The West Wing" WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Sen. Barack Obama unveiled the official name of his presidential campaign Monday in papers filed with the Federal Election Commission. Eschewing the traditional "Obama for President" moniker, the Illinois Democrat has opted instead for "Obama for America."
Other presidential campaigns that have used the "[Candidate] for America" nomenclature include:
* "Dean for America" (2004) -- Howard Dean (D-Vermont) * "Bartlet for America" (1999-2006) -- fictional TV president Josiah Bartlet (D-NBC's "The West Wing")
In 2003, the Dean campaign acknowledged that a campaign staffer and "West Wing" fan suggested the name "Dean for America" after hearing the "Bartlet for America" slogan on the NBC TV series, and that the former governor decided on the name without realizing the connection.
Dan Pfeiffer, an Obama spokesman, tells the Ticker that the new campaign name is not in homage to the show but rather "reflects the grassroots nature of an Obama candidacy."
i like that their list of "other presidential campaigns" is dean and BARTLET. BARTLET THE FICTIONAL PRESIDENT.
okay i'm going to go write about abolitionist propaganda now! wii!
ps: i've been really lazy about replying to comments but let me just say, sophia, what do you mean kind of poetic? i'm submitting that last entry to the grinnell literary magazine.
posted by ~renata~ at 11:30 AM
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Wednesday, February 14, 2007
listening to: regina spektor, buildings
here is how i am good at time management: i was tired after class so i laid down to take a nap. then i laid in bed daydreaming for another half hour after my alarm went off. and now i am blogging about it.
i have a 5-page paper due friday and i haven't started and i am kind of nervous about it? but i have tonight and almost all day tomorrow and tomorrow night.
i am hungry and there is good food in the dining hall tonight.
today in disability lit we gave our group presentation and distributed cupcakes and little mermaid valentines.
professor savarase: "is this to distract from the quality of your presentation?" me: "absolutely."
i'm burned out but at least it is wednesday at least it is halfway to springbreak at least there are sweet potato & black bean burritos at dinner tonight.
posted by ~renata~ at 6:30 PM
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listening to: regina spektor, chemo limo
hello friends. it is after midnight technically, so happy valentine's day! here is a VERY APPROPRIATE MIDWESTERN VALENTINE. from me to you.
in summation, sharks are pretty chill and don't really kill people unless you get all up in their grill; squids are huge and scary and have special light-powered attacks oh god and the article also talks about the COLLOSAL SQUID which is even bigger than the giant squid. and i hate it. i hate it so much.
>:O good thing i slept the entire afternoon. argh. i guess i do feel better, though, so... hooray?
i am both pleased and displeased by today's stuart davis newsletter. pleasing:
In other-other news, I could not be more thrilled that we are shooting a Pilot-Demo this weekend for Kill The Buddha, a half hour comedy show based on my life as a touring musician, family man, and Buddhist practitioner. it's twisted, it tickles the funny bone.
i really hope that that somehow comes to fruition.
displeasing: the tour schedule, which is only four dates. seattle, minneapolis, london, and totnes, uk. hopefully he'll add some iowan dates. or even just one.
today's dinosaur comic is basically my life. except with different songs. and except not so loud. and except i'm not a dinosaur.
hmm, after rocking out to the midi, i just went to go listen to the real version of help me rhonda, only to discover that i don't actually have it. i have the beach boys greatest hits! who said help me rhonda wasn't a great hit. hmm. actually i see now that the album is actually called "the very best of the beach boys." perhaps they have some sort of scientific process to quantitatively determine the level of goodness of each song and help me rhonda did not quite make the cut.
in other news, i think i'm getting sick. i tried to fend it off with naked juice (the secretly caffeinated one?) but it didn't work. it's probably because it wasn't well-being juice, aka the clearly superior flavor of naked juice. it's also possible that this is some sort of karma for last night's mean girls chat.
so in general i am torn between my desire to avoid being "that kid who makes dumb pop culture references in class all the time" and my desire to talk about house in disability lit every day. but today professor savarese actually mentioned houses and talked about house's cane as a narrative prosthesis, and how the show wouldn't be able to function without house's disability and then he said he didn't want the class to turn into a discussion of tv so we weren't allowed to respond.
but! it is an unjust statement because it is clearly established that house is a jerk before (and, briefly, after) the disability.
today's depressing personal anecdote from professor savarese was about how 2 of his friends got in a car accident on their honeymoon and the dude just got a cut on his eyebrow and the lady became a quadriplegic.
i don't have class tomorrow! art history got cancelled! i should really use my time wisely and be diligent. but it seems unlikely that i will. i could watch studio 60 but i kind of quit that show. i hear it's really crazy now and danny and jordan are dating? i felt like it was moving towards that when io stopped watching and i felt that it didn't really make any sense and i didn't like it. so, whateva, studio 60. you're dead to me. you've pretty much been on notice since... oh... john goodman's portrayal of the "redneck sheriff who isn't really a redneck he's just pretending like he is to expose your liberal stereotypes but really he is a redneck basically ps we hope you didn't notice that the plot for this episode makes no real sense." (yeah i'm so tired of that character trope, it's everywhere. seriously though, totally dead to me.)
posted by ~renata~ at 4:25 PM
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listening to: indigo girls, CHICKENMAN
why do i love this song so much. why. also apparently it is based on a true story. a true chickenman. dig it.
anyway. i think i aced the map quiz? it depends i guess on how strict he is about location of capitals--he said we should try to put them "roughly" in the right spot. for a long time i forgot about bolivia though. there was just a blank spot in the middle of south america for a long time.
in addition to losing bolivia, i also seem to have lost a collection of civil war documents. i'm sure i had it in class on friday, and then i just took my bag straight back to my room. i think. what did i do friday? ahhh.
anyway i looked everywhere. i even broached the pile of newspapers/books/scarves. (remember how i gave up before cleaning my whole room this weekend? i couldn't quite bring myself to tackle the pile of newspapers/books/scarves.) ehhh.
last night i dreamed that trina and i went to spain together but i forgot to bring anything with me. we realized this at the airport and i freaked out and wanted to go back and get my suitcase, but trina said we didn't have time, and then i tried to buy new stuff at the airport but no one was working at the airport shop and we had to leave and i didn't want to steal anything :O and trina made fun of me for forgetting to bring anything (rightly so) but really, you'd think she would have noticed too, maybe asked, "hey renata, aren't you going to bring anything with you on our trip to spain?"
and then i woke up before we got to spain. before we got on the airplane even.
finally: note to self (and cautionary tale to others??), orange mango motion naked juice doesn't taste very good and also it is apparently secretly "naturally caffeinated." so a) don't buy it anymore and b) if you do, don't drink half the bottle before you go to bed.
posted by ~renata~ at 10:08 AM
(1) commented with care
Sunday, February 11, 2007
listening to: indigo girls, pendulum swingers
important announcement: i am up-to-date on house!
also i am relatively caught up on schoolwork?? what? except i just noticed that the map quiz tomorrow includes the caribbean. haha what.
here are some deep thoughts about house. and camp songs apparently.
renata: ps my love for chase grows like a mighty oak sophi yesssss sophi: he was the only good part of it renata: yes my fave part renata: was when he suggested just leaving the girl sedated sophi: chase <3 sophi: I like that now I actually have a reason for loving him renata: wtf wtf this kid is a gypsy sophi: like, for the first season and a half, he didn't really do much sophi: but I loved him anyways renata: yeah same renata: he's just so renata: chill renata: i think that chase's motto is: whatevs sophi: obv sophi: whatevs, mate renata: asd;kjlasd yes renata: steak chocolate sophi: when I was in the eighth grade sophi: my friend zia went on a trip to australia sophi: and she had to go to like... these classes sophi: to learn about australia? sophi: and in one of them she learned a song and it went like this: sophi: g'day g'day, it's nice to see you sophi: g'day g'day it's nice to meet you! renata: is that it sophi yes renata: tight sophi: that was the whole song renata: did they follow it up with renata: waltzing matilda sophi: sadhkja sophi probably renata: waltzing matilda renata: won't you come waltzing with me renata: waltzing waltzing billabong sophi: I think the class was basically just australian stereotypes 101 renata: waltzing gibberish tree renata: waltzing matilda sophi: like, all they did was watch crocodile hunter renata: the end sophi: beautiful renata: omg best class ever sophi: I would totally ace that class sophi: for the final, I would perform the glass menagerie with an australian accent sophi: which, btw, I am awesome at renata: askkjdaskd sophi: but I can only do it with the glass menagerie sophi: while reading as amanda renata: freakshow sophi: it is my hidden talent renata: for my final renata: i would perform the crocodile song renata: as well as the other crocodile song renata: because at my camp there were 2 and we called them both the crocodile song and every time someone said "let's do the crocodile song" you'd have to clarify renata: anyway i would do them both in australia 101 sophi: good sophi: could we do baby shark sophi: I think there are sharks in australia renata: yeah renata: around them renata: around it sophi: I think we should just teach a class on camp songs renata: i'm for it renata: we could also do line-by-line analysis renata: of how none of them make any sense sophi: ahahaha sophi: write a 10 page essay about three chartreuse buzzards sophi: and how it relates sophi: to feminism renata: wtf wtf we don't have that one renata: but i want that one sophi: omg it's great renata: um renata: plz call me and sing it to me sophi: let me see if I can like, find it online sophi: dhsjak ok renata: bzzzz renata: gypsies = hippies renata: apparently sophi: obv renata: where woudl this show be without unexpected shots of blood sophi: omg I found this page of mormon camp songs sophi: they're kind of creepy renata: ... i can imagine sophi: MORMON GIRL
Oh, when a Mormon girl walks down the street, She looks 100 per from head to feet. She's got the smile, that style, that winning way. And when you look at her you'll recognize her and you'll say: "Now there's a girl I'd like to know. "She's got the great L-D-S pep and go." And when you see her it is quite a treat, It's hard to beat a Mormon Girl. M-O-R-E-M-E-N, MORE MEN, MORE MEN SING IT AGAIN! renata: .............. sophi: god, why am I looking at all of these instead of doing homeowrk renata: oh man so last summer at my camp renata: this one counselor tried to add a new song to some campfire renata: and we were like whatevs renata: and then she started singing it and it was like renata: the craziest weirdest song ever renata: like renata: i have to see if i can find the lyrics sophi: ahaha ok renata: http://www.scoutscan.com/songs/i/isong030.html renata: I'm a hootin' tootin' Girl Scout from the West Bang-bang (like guns)
I'm a prim and proper Girl Scout from the East Charmed, I'm sure (present hand, like to be kissed)
I'm a guy-grabbing Girl Scout from the North Come here, fellas (grab form in front of you)
I'm a slow and slinky Girl Scout form the South Hi, ya'll (single wave in front of you) sophi: wtffff renata: um i know renata: so she was like leading this song and we were all increasingly like ".... renata: this is appropriate... how... or even... logical... how renata: haha foreman & the gypsies are getting into an opression-off sophi hdjksa my favorite is the beaver song sophi: fyi renata: BEAVER HEAVEN renata: YYY sophi: STOP sophi: IT'S BEAVER TIME
(the hand motion for "stop! it's beaver time" is you put your hand out like, you know, STOP. also you put your top teeth over your bottom lip. like a beaver. fyi.)
posted by ~renata~ at 11:52 PM
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i was kind of freaked about the latin america map quiz, but then i actually looked at a map and was like "oh yeah, i guess i basically do know all the countries of latin america and their capitals. huh." thanks, carmen sandiego/nerd bowl/10 years of spanish class!
i should probably like, study a little bit anyway. but it doesn't seem so intimidating.
i really like flickr. i like organizing my photos and all the options i have. i like that just now i could search for "grand canyon" and find 0234324 kickass pictures to blog.
but also? also there are some creepshows on flickr.
liiike i've gotten multiple messages/comments from flickr foot fetishists about the picture i posted of my new nailpolish? (one is there as a public comment, but i've also gotten messages about it.) and like i was just looking at my "most interesting" photos (i still really don't understand the flickr formula for "interestingness" but okay) and i noticed that some of my photos had been listed as "favorites" by people. like... a bunch of my jfk pictures from dallas are "mr. black's" favorites. mr. black's avatar is a picture of jfk.
someone named "cooleststud" has favorited a picture of ariel from camp. cooleststud's photostream is entirely of guns and handcuffs. and i mean... ariel is cute, and she's wearing a tanktop in the picture, but it's not a particularly sexy picture or anything. i don't really understand. and i don't think he knows her, or else i feel a normal person would have also left a comment that said like, "oh hey, how do you know ariel, blah blah" or something.
i'm not like, seriously disturbed by any of this--if i were i could just take these down or make them all private, obv. but it's just like... wow, some people on the internet are weird.
but also, some apparently non-sketchy person favorited a pic i took of sunrise in the smoky mountains! exciting!! i mean, i know i'm not like an artistic photographer or anything, and mostly i just take pictures of my friends making weird faces, but it is a pretty picture and it's exciting that one random person on the internet also liked it.
i can't believe how burned out i am already. i've been back at school for like, three weeks. aaaand i'm pretty much done.
argh. and 2 of my big commitments for the semester (b&s and prison) haven't really started yet. blah blah cranky stress blah.
LUCKILY the following movie scene will cheer me up!! it is olive's performance from little miss sunshine. i feel that if you haven't seen the movie, watching this kind of ruins the surprise of it, which makes it so great. but then, they put it in the commercials for the dvd so maybe you've already seen it (>:O commercial). anyway. the first time i saw this i laughed until i cried. 100% literally laughed until i cried. also i kind of hurt my throat from shriek-laughing. this is my last favorite movie scene post. (for awhile at least?) i saved the best for last.
listening to: drunk firstyears throwing things at the wall or something
i cleaned my room somewhat! i gave up just now. i'm lying on my bed with sam propped up against my knees. if someone attempted to communicate with me in person i suspect i would only communicate with zombielike sounds.
i think the firstyears just broke something.
i am very tired all of a sudden.
i think i am going to try to watch house anyway. i'm nearly caught upppp.
it's not really a legitimate food product. but it's so cheesy and moderately spicy and delicious. i just wish it came in a better container. my deepest fear is that one day, scraping for the last remnants of cheese, my hand will get stuck in the jar and, like a trapped animal, i will be unable to free myself. actually, my deepest fear is that one day i will eat the entire jar in one sitting and die. die from queso.
re-reading animorphs books in times of stress
they take me back, man.
disney channel original movies
actually i don't feel guilty about them. they are great.
mediocre but fun!
he's like 12. well, almost 18. but he's soooo cute. and his song "push it"? really moving, guys.
hmm, i meant to say "how are you?" but "who are you?" is perhaps a more interesting question.
whoooo aaaare yoooou.
ok. today i finished most of my pc app! i need to hunt down... arghhh firefox keeps doing this thing where, for no real reason, it brings up the spinning rainbow of doom (subtitle for windows users: hourglass) for literally five minutes at a time and just totally freezes, and then goes back to normal. sometimes this happens when i switch between tabs; other times for no reason at all. it did it right in the middle of that sentence before, right after "down" and i totally lost my train of thought in favor of blind rage. raaaage.
anyway i need to get my student loan info and touch up my resume and ask people to write me recommendations. ahhhhh.
so i did that today. also i went to wal-mart and bought yellow corn chips and organic salsa and SALSA CON QUESO which is pretty much the least organic thing ever. but also the most delicious. i haven't had it for sooo long. omg. also i was going to buy a watch to replace my broken one, but they didn't have any i liked. also i was going to buy a new tube of dr pepper chapstick to replace my funny-tasting one, but they didn't have any. i briefly considered ending it all, but then i found some neutrogena "mango moisture balm" and decided i could probably carry on living after all. probably.
now, here is a movie scene i like! it is the end of the 40 year old virgin. if you have not see the 40 year old virgin, do not watch this because it will ruin the movie for you. not even joking. if you have seen 40 year old virgin then you know exactly why the ending is so great and i shall say no more.
it is still coldddd and i got stuck behind a traaaain in the coldddd brrrrr i still can't feel my hands. the trains go soo slooooow on campus, which is good because it means no one dies from them but bad because it means when you get stuck on the wrong side of one you have to wait for 329043 years. sometimes in the cold D:
anyway i can already sense myself having a totally unproductive evening. but i really. need. to. do. stuff. including clean my room. i live in squalor.
i want to go to hy vee too. it comes down to the fact that whenever we talk about guatemala in radical movements, which is pretty often, it makes me think of guacamole. and i hate guacamole, but then it makes me think of chips & salsa, which i love, and long story short i've been really craving chips and salsa for like three weeks now.
also i need to finish my pc app. it is like 90% done and then i just like stopped.
oops i started writing this like... hours ago. the evening has been unproductive as anticipated.
i did learn that my new favorite piece of art, "erased de kooning drawing", is in san francisco. when i theoretically visit keith my agenda is: see "erased de kooning drawing," visit 826 valencia, visit the harvey milk memorial, and stalk lemony snicket.
i can't stop listening to the new indigo girls albumm. (it's not like super new but i just got it recently so it is new to me. and it is great great.) i'm pretty much the dykiest straight girl ever. (hey you can listen to "pendulum swingers" and "little perennials" which are 2 of my fave songs off this album on their myspace if you want! you know, if you like music. and aren't concerned with being converted to dykeism.)
here are some things i have to say.
i have the stupidest sleep schedule ever. i need to make myself go to bed at a reasonable hour. and i need to like, be better at sleeping. i'm bad at it. it takes me so long to fall asleep and i always wake up unnecessarily early. like even when i go to bed at 3am and my alarm is set for 7:30am, ie today, i wake up well before the alarm. WHY.
in disability lit on wednesday we talked about the concept of the cyborg, and how some disabled people who rely on technology consider themselves cyborgs, and professor savarese said if you take it to extremes "the minute you pick up a pen, you're enjoining yourself with technology and becoming a cyborg." this is basically the greatest thing i've ever heard in any english class ever.
did you know that the united fruit company became CHIQUITA? i didn't! i thought they kind of just disappeared! i kind of want to boycott chiquita now! (the united fruit company was basically satan in terms of 20th century latin american history.)
two excerpts from ordeal by fire: the civil war and reconstruction:
While Brooks [representative preston brooks, who caned charles sumner] was in South Carolina, the major of Columbia gave him a hickory cane with a gold head. From all over the South Brooks received canes; one presented by the city of Charleston bore the inscription "Hit Him Again"; his own constituents gave him one inscribed "Use Knock-Down Arguments."
For eight weeks the contest dragged on while tempers grew short, Northern and Southern congressmen hurled insults at one another, and members came armed to the sessions. One observer claimed that "the only person who do not have a revolver and knife are those who have two revolvers." A shootout on the floor of the House seemed a real possibility.
and finally, a bit of potential tmi. but maybe it is etraoi, exactly the right amount of information. i guess it depends on how interested you are. in me. and my dry skin.
sooo in the winter i get dry skin, as many do! however, i unfailingly find that the dryest area of my body is my bum. why is this? does anyone else have this problem?
OK that is all for now. i am going to go try to persuade my stupid, potential-cyborg of a body to go take a nap.
ps i forgot to post a movie scene yesterday :O i am sure you all missed it! or something! anyway i am going to post one now! it is COLORS OF THE WIND from pocahontas! and it is great!
oh my god you guys, wouldn't it be great if the indigo girls and the go gos teamed up? they'd be the INDIGO GO GIRLS!!! S-LOL
also if the goo goo dolls somehow got involved the indigoo goo girls? yes? okay.
anyway. soo i was just looking at the syllabus for radical movements in latin america, and apparently there is a map quiz on monday? where we have to fill in a map with all the countries and capitals of south & central america?
q: what are you doing this weekend renata? a: memorizing latin america :O
i think i'm just going to do office/scrabble tonight. i think it will be best for my morale.
also i need to pick a research topic. i want to write about the madres de la plaza de mayo. but it's supposed to be a historiographical paper? so we're supposed to find a debate in the existing body of research? and like, i don't know. i don't think anyone is really anti-madres. but i guess that is reductive; there are different ways of being pro-madres so i should just... stop blogging and do some historiographical research.
posted by ~renata~ at 6:36 PM
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so i borrowed the steve miller band's greatest hits cd from my dad and ripped it on my computer. it is interesting because i feel that steve miller band has maybe 5 great hits and then a bunch of songs i've never heard of. including this one. but then i am hardly a steve miller band connoisseur.
anyway here is why life is hard. today i worked at outtakes, and we had my faaavorite kind of chips! (baked cheddar & sour cream ruffles, in case you would like to buy me some, or simply to add a bit of vivid detail to this story.) at some point i noticed we were running low, so i set aside a sack lunch with that type of chips for myself. i made sure to keep an eye on it because in the past i have attempted this sort of chip hoarding (or sometimes cookie hoarding) and accidentally given away my secret stash. today, however, i kept ahold of my delicious chips!
BUT when i left i forgot to grab a sandwich :O (the nature of out takes is that all the other lunch components are pre-bagged, and you can choose your sandwich and it gets added to the bag.) naturally i hoped for a main-course type item to accompany my lunch. ideally i would not have to walk back in the freezing cold to the jrc to find this source of sustenence. i looked in my food crate. i spied a box of easy mac! perfect! OH NO EMPTY.
then i spied some thai kitchen noodle soup packets! a+! i turned on my hot pot and found a tupperware bowl, in which to preare my soup. i found a spoon. i looked around for a fork, since i know from experience that thai kitchen noodle soup is really a fork AND spoon kind of operation. i was unsuccessful in locating a fork, and decided that what the hell, i'm a grownup, i can eat my soup without a fork.
i tried to scoop up noodles for about 5 minutes before i decided to return to the utensil box once more. this time i did find a fork, way down at the bottom. soup prepared, fork found, i twirled up a bite of noodles and went to eat them. somehow, through sheer force of noodle and biting and i don't know what, the fork ended up on the floor.
however, i was saved by the 15-second rule and low standards, and my lunch has since proceeded without incident.
HOWEVER there are two dilemmas which i face:
1. scrabble club or urban bush women?? tonight is office/scrabble club night, which is a great evening. however, tonight there is also a dance performance from a group called urban bush women. they are supposed to be really good. and it is free. but i'd have to miss half of the office (or be late) and all of scrabble. and i know, logically, that i'll have a lot of chances to watch office/play scrabble. and probably only one chance to see the urban bush women. but i'd really rather do office/scrabble. but will i regret missing urban bush women? or will i resent sitting there watching them dance and thikning about how i wish i were playing scrabble? ARGH.
2. GRADUATION :O should i graduate? y/n
just kidding, that is not the dilemma. the dilemma is: at grinnell you are seated by academic division for graduation. if you are a double major, you must choose which division to sit with :O should i sit with humanities or social science?? AHHHH. i guess i am leaning towards humanities? but i'm more involved with the history department so maybe ss? but i'm better at english :/ HMMM.
also, i need to write how to phonetically pronounce my name? ren-AH-tuh SANK-in? is that right? how do i say my name? shit i'm so bad at scanning poetry. i think renAHtuh is weird. it's hard because i just like, think of my name the right way, you know? i guess "a" is the emphasized syllable, but it's not ike, TOO emphasized. it is a secondary stress.
ahhh yoga tonight was so good. it definitely did a lot for my weird ankles and shoulders. i feel kind of floaty. ahhh.
and then i came home and made microwave kettle corn and hot chocolate!
and tomorrow i only have art history. the inherent flaw in my schedule--3 work-intensive classes on mw(f) and then just art history on tth--is generally lame and will prob drive me nuts if i don't balance my time better by the end of the semester--definite has its perks. ie, monday and wednesday nights.
so. i should 100% take advantage of this and go to bed early. do it, renata. don't stay up until jesus o'clock on the internet unnecessarily.
speaking of unnecessary internet, here is my movie scene of the day! it is from clerks 2 and it is also a dance scene! but of an entirely different feel than yesterday. it has PLOT? and all the little character moments are so so perfect. and also, great song. ps rosario dawson is hot.
PS another prime example of unnecessary internet usage:
renatarina: madonna renatarina: how come every time you come around madonnarama: i'm a natch disaster :( madonnarama: don't take me to england renatarina: my london bridge wanna go down :( :( :( madonnarama: soz renatarina: people die in bridge fallings renatarina: all the time madonnarama: shit madonnarama: daily madonnarama: even renatarina: god renatarina: so renatarina: deadly madonnarama: ahaha renatarina: omg renatarina: i just looked up london bridge on wikipedia madonnarama: yes? renatarina: Primarily, Fergie uses the song to express that "every time" the unnamed person to whom she is singing "comes around," her "London London Bridge wanna go down like London London London." One interpretation of these lyrics is that Fergie is in control of Tower Bridge (located in London, England.) Every time a male that she deems sufficiently attractive "comes around" (that is to say, approaches the vicinity of the bridge), she brings the bridge down, permitting them passage across the River Thames. Another is that "London Bridge" is a metaphor for underwear. In the music video, Fergie sports underwear with the Union Jack (Flag of The United Kingdom) printed on them. That would give the impression that everytime an attractive person gets close to her, her "London Bridge" [underwear] would come down, giving it a sexual feeling to the song. A final theory refers to the original London Bridge, which was so heated it needed to be sprayed with water to come down. Thus Fergie is saying that the man makes her "hot" and she wants to be sprayed. renatarina: OVER ANALYZATION renatarina: OF FERGIE madonnarama: wtfffffffffffff madonnarama: weirddddd madonnarama: A final theory refers to the original London Bridge, which was so heated it needed to be sprayed with water to come down. Thus Fergie is saying that the man makes her "hot" and she wants to be sprayed. renatarina: hottt renatarina: like renatarina: why would the theory be that she was in control of tower bridge renatarina: it is called madonnarama: yeah madonnarama: weird renatarina: LONDON bridge madonnarama: every time you always come around madonnarama: my tower tower tower bridge wanna go down madonnarama: like TOWER TOWER TOWER renatarina: kjasdkajs renatarina: best song ever madonnarama: i'd hit it renatarina: yeah renatarina: and then you'd make it collapse, you ho madonnarama: fuck madonnarama: i just wanna get sprayed madonnarama: cuz historically madonnarama: a bridge such as tower or london madonnarama: have gotten heated enough that they had to be sprayed w/ water renatarina: and jizz renatarina: that was like renatarina: a full time job madonnarama: djasfldjsakfl madonnarama: they had to bring hoses madonnarama: and porn madonnarama: lube optional i guess madonnarama: just be careful not to get it on the bridge renatarina: resume renatarina: london bridge sprayer renatarina: fluffer madonnarama: water/jism madonnarama: gross madonnarama: london bridge flufferrrr
posted by ~renata~ at 10:17 PM
(1) commented with care
listening to: simon & garfunkel, the only living boy in new york
i am sooo functional for 4 hours of sleep. less than actually, since i definitely woke up before the alarm. and i failed to take a nap. maybe professor savarese is right and you really don't need more than 4 hours of sleep to function! also it's possible he is insane. today he brought out TWO sad/horrific personal anecdotes. one about how he almost died in a(n almost) plane crash and now he always travels with a smoke hood on planes. he offered us a number of tips on how best to survive plane crashes. then he told us about how he got in an argument with someone at a conference "and then a week later, they died." soo... whatever.
today my shoulders and ankles really hurt. it is so weird. i guess it is from falling over. or something. maybe from yoga on sunday? but they didn't hurt before today. it is possible. anything is possible. sort of. maybe yoga tonight will fix it! or hurt real bad. or both.
guys. it is 4am. i'm so mad that i'm still awake. my alarm is set for 8am so i can finish my history readings before 9am class. it's my fault for getting such a late start on stuff but i "went to bed" over an hour agooo and i was so tired then and WHY CAN'T I SLEEP.
i went to the health center and replenished my supply of ibuprofen! they said there was nothing wrong with me except i had some fluid in my ears so probably i'm getting sick and that's why i'm getting dizzy headaches? gr8 :/ but she also gave me some decongestants for when/if i do get more sick. so i am prepared!
also i am HUNGRY but again dinner will be crowded if i go noowwwwwww.
here is another favorite movie scene! it is from the end of romy & michele's high school reunion! a movie that ruuuules. and has alan cumming in it. and the dance at the end is so funny and cute and i'm so glad that michele says romy has to be in it because they are bffs and also i love this song. and i love alan cumming. have i mentioned that? yes? good.
omg sophi sent me nytw rent the other day, and i hadn't listened to it foreverrr because before all i had were crappy tapes. and it is so crazy, i kind of forgot about that. so crazy.
anyway, here are two good things that happened at lunch:
1.) i ate a grilled cheese sandwich! 2.) i was sitting by myself like i basically always do at meals because i don't know people with meal plans and i'm awk and would rather sit by myself and read than like approach an acquaintance to sit with. or something. whatever. but today an acquaintance from my civil war class approached ME to sit with and it was fun and good. basically. i sound kind of creepy i guess. but look, guys, i've had to make like three sets of friends because they kept graduating and now at least i still have friends at school just they're off campus and i really just don't have the energy to actively make new friends to eat lunch with.
here is one bad thing that happened at lunch: 1.) i fucking fell over. holding my tray (luckily i hadn't gotten a drink yet). like, i didn't slip or trip or anything. i just fell over. and it kind of hurt a lot and also i had to replace my grilled cheese sandwich.
what though. what. i'm not really the epitome of grace or anything, but this is the second time in two days i've just fallen over.
hypotheses: 1.) shoes? both times i was wearing my clogs. but i have worn these shoes a number of times in the past and not fallen down. 2.) cold? maybe my feet are frozen and less stable than usual. 3.) brain tumor?? i was feeling dizzy yesterday and i'm not exactly dizzy today but kind of. i don't know. tired? foggy? something? 4.) yoga? in general it is supposed to improve your balance but maybe there is an intermediate stage where it makes it worse for awhile. 5.) too much thinking about art?
wow. last night was so weird. i went to bed early cuz i was tired and didn't really stop feeling dizzy. eventually it was sort of progressing into a pre-migraine-esque stage and i could not find any ibuprofen. i'm sure i have a bottle of it somewhere, plus i had a bunch of packets from the health center. eventually i found ONE ibuprofen, a packet that i had already opened and taken one out of. what. then i was sooo hot and kicked off all the blankets and then i had a really weird dream.
i feel better now but still like, what.
"what" is such a great multipurpose word.
speaking of what. i... i've always tried to resist statements like "oh, i just don't get modern art!" and "what is that, i could paint that." it seems so inappropriate to just reject an entire... basically century... of art. and even if it looks simple, i mean, it's in a museum, right? there must be something more that i'm not getting.
so i took intro to art history. and now i'm taking art since 1945. and, i don't know. i think i can get behind more modern art now. talking about rothko and the way he tried to inspire a sense of the sublime, of the transcendental, with big washes of color. yeah.
there are some things though, that i still... mmm. like helen frankenthaler's mountains and sea. i just read a whole article about it, and i've been staring at it for awhile (there is a higher-quality image i have access to through our class database but i can't link to it) and really all i've got is, "hmm, that looks... kind of pretty, i guess?"
i feel confident in my opinions on books. i generally feel that i have enough background and knowledge that i can read a book and say whether or not i liked it, and whether or not it was good, and hopefully those two spheres generally align. with art i really don't feel that way.
it is a learning process i suppose!
but also part of me is like, well, what about the idea of art for the masses. isn't it kind of elitist for me to think my opinions on art will only be valid after education? but then if educated opinions aren't more valid what is the point of education? ahhhhhh also, why does my new tube of dr. pepper chapstick taste so bad? it tastes entirely different from the last several tubes i have owned. did they change the formula over at lipsmackers? if so, WHYYY? did i just get a tube from a contaminated lot? maybe the chemical formula was altered when i left my target bag in the car overnight and it froze?
as you can see, my life is tormented with a number of highly intellectual problems. that is probably why i get headaches.
(seriously though, this new dr pepper chapstick is naaast and i keep using it anyway in hopes that it will somehow get better.)
listening to: joan baez, the night they drove old dixie down
so i was just looking at the publicity pictures of daniel radcliffe in equus, which isn't a play i'd heard of before, and i was thinking to myself, "so, like, does his character fuck a horse or something..." i looked the play up on wikipedia: Equus is a play by Peter Shaffer written in 1973, telling the story of a psychiatrist who attempts to treat a young man who has a pathological sexual fascination with horses.
so... i guess i am glad those photos were not misleading! or something?
anywayyy. i started feeling really dizzy on my way back from the library. also i fell down. but that was just because there was ice and i was wearing high-heeled clogs. i didn't like faint or anything. but i feel weird. blah. i was going to do laundry. but i don't really want to lug all my clothes down & up stairs now. nor do i want to commit myself to a 90+ minute process when i may just well go to bed before then. LIFE IS SO HARD.
plus my red sweater has a mark on it and smells kind of weird and it turns out it's dry clean only? i was going to ask "why would i even buy something dry clean only?" and then i remembered i bought it at plato's closet for like $5. so i guess that is why.
final complaint re: hardness of life: my skin is so dry ahhhhh!
guys. why am i allowed to talk to people? today at the sepc lunch:
someone: so where exactly is your area of study? job candidate: the ford company's rubber plantations in south america, in the nothern amazon region. me: oh, those are in the amazon trail computer game! job candidate: really?? me: um, yes. like, at certain points in the game you travel through the mists of time, for no real reason, and anyway you go back in time and visit one of the plantations when it's active. and then you go back to present day. job candidate: wow, who makes this game? i'll have to get my hands on it!
she was actually genuinely excited about the link between educational software and her research, but, seriously, i'm a nerd.
our third candidate was good too. i still have a big academic crush on our second candidate. the sepc wrote up our report tonight and the department is making their final decision by the end of this week supposedly, so i guess we'll find out soon!
i'm so tired. i stayed up way too late talking to keith about death. i depressed him with my vision of a meaningless universe and convinced him never to date me. i also attempted to convert him to the paul simonist philosophy. that's how i roll.
also how i roll: today's edition of my movie scene meme! hooray!
this one is complex. i wanted to post the CELLO SLEDDING SCENE from the living daylights, because that scene represents all that is great about the james bond franchise, and, indeed, the world.
unfortunately, the internet does not seem to agree with me re: its greatness, and i couldn't find a video of the scene. however, i watched a bunch of fan trailers for the living daylights (why are there so many of these? and why are so many of them in spanish? oh t-dalts, you attact a strange and varied audience) and one of them did briefly include cello sledding, although not the whole scene in its intense glory. it will simply have to do, i suppose, until i get my hands on living daylights on dvd and rip the scene myself. cello sledding occurs about halfway through this, but really, the whole thing is pretty great, as james bond movies tend to be.
for extra credit: smack my bitch up, a great montage of james bond smacking bitches up across the ages.
and also: this trailer promoting all the bond movies on video. it's just like a short compilations of all the most badass things james bond has done (through 1995, and not including cello sledding). notable because they put it at the beginning of every bond movie on vhs so i have seen it about 209093432 times. molly, tim and i always used to point out our favorite parts and reminisce about them in context.
here is the meme: every day for a week i will post a favorite movie clip of mine! with some commentary? perhaps you would like to do the same? if not that's okay!
i am starting with the "hawaiian roller coaster ride" scene from lilo & stitch. it seems like a good one to start with, since my blog is based on it right now. sorry the video is kind of crappy, this was the only one i could find on youtube that's actually the scene with the right song. anyway, i love this scene because it is so cute and fun and happy and the song is so joyfulriffic. i love it for being a moment of joy in the midst of the fairly depressing middle part of this movie.
i had such good intentions for today. i was going to go to the library! and study there! and not get distracted! but then i remembered it's freezing cold and i don't want to walk to the library. or anywhere. ever. but i'm going to do my best to study here and not get horribly distracted. maybe.
i'm going to go get on that, but first i leave you with two great things:
1.) the best mst-moment of predator last night: "one animal was harmed in the making of this film. we drop-kicked a vulture. sorry."
:O i'm getting caught up on house, and i was going to go to bed after episode 9 but daaaaaaamn i think i have to watch 10.
omg i can't believe he fucking punched chase in the face. couldn't he have hit cameron instead? why did i strike that? cameron needs to get punched in the face.
also tritter. punched so hard. rrrrr.
eta: OMG i am like 5 minutes into 3x10 and i can already tell it's going to OWN.
dwarf mom*: "stop treating her like she's five!" cameron: "sorry, i was just trying to be helpful." house: "she also hates jews."
* by which i mean a woman who has dwarfism and is also the mother of a dwarf.
ALSO HOUSE TOTALLY WANTS TO BONE DWARF MOM
eta again: okay the episode got real lame in the midde. instead of boning dwarf mom, house started cutting himself. CHEER UP EMO HOUSE. then it kind of redeemed himself when issues of disability identity politics started playing themselves out right before my eyes! additionally when house called dwarf daughter a "tiny little poser." thennn it got lame again when tritter reappeared because goddamn i hate him so much and i hate that whole development and i 'm so sick of the excessive levels of angst it has brought to the show. please, house, return to moderate levels of angst. and for god's sake don't let house cut himself anymore.
posted by ~renata~ at 1:49 AM
(1) commented with care
on why i am reluctant to leave my room: Snow flurries early. Then partly cloudy overnight. Cold. Dangerous wind chills approaching -30F. Low -7F. Winds W at 20 to 30 mph.
on why i am reluctant to leave my room tomorrow: Sunshine and clouds mixed. Very cold. Dangerous wind chills approaching -35F. High 6F. Winds WNW at 20 to 30 mph.
but then it's going to warm up tomorrow evening: Bitterly cold. A few clouds from time to time. Low -11F. Winds WNW at 5 to 10 mph.
it won't be dangerously cold anymore! merely bitterly cold! with a few clouds. from time to time.
in spite of the cold, today has been pretty grood. stocked with history nerdiness and napping, two of my favorite things! in radical movements, professor silva (aka j-pabs) was talking about our research papers and showing us different databases, and he kept searching for himself as an example. "what, this one has my dissertation but not my article? that's SO LAME." he kept getting this adorable mixture of mock indignant/actual indignant.
another favorite moment was at the sepc meeting when we were reporting our professor review findings... "one student said that at the end of the semester he still had no idea why the eurocentric world order collapsed."
and then i took an a+ afternoon nap.
tonight i stayed in and made rentsecrets instead of doing anything remotely productive.
ahhh tonight was so good. jenny and i got caught up on the office (OH EM GEE DWIGHT) and we played some intense scrabble with mark and sarah. oh god the 2nd game was so crazy. mark had TWO bingos and the game ended so so suddenly. he played a bingo and went out and then we realized the bag was out of letters? and sarah and i both had full racks still. like. what. it was so sad, his final score was like 220 and sarah and i both had like... 70. daaamn.
also we drank my sweet-ass sam's club red wine. jenny got new glasses? and they're bigger than normal wine glasses? in summary i think i drank more wine than... i might otherwise. whatever though, it's almost friday. technically it is friday. oh it's reid's birthday now! wooooooo!
i just logged onto amazon to get his birthday gift (AMAZON GIFT CERTIFICATE designated for whatever hippie jam band cd he wants) and my recommended item is a subscription to banjo newsletter??
i sent his gift certificate with an ecard. the ecard is a picture of butterflies. in it i wished him a happy birthday and quoted snakes on a plane. one day someone will be offended by the fact that reid and i quote snakes on a plane all the time. but our favorite line is not "i've had it with these motherfucking snakes..." rather, our favorite line is "keep it black," as uttered by that rapper who was on the plane.
listening to: melissa ferrick, will you be the one
ahh i just realized i'm really hungry. rawr. but if i go to dinner now it will be so crowded! i hate dinner when it is crowded! >:O on the plus side, it is OREO PIE night. oh oreo pie, is there a food more representative of the 21st century? probably yes, because i don't even know what the hell that means.
i stayed up way too late last night procrastinating/writing my paper. and then i woke up and was really afraid i'd be late to work but instead i was 10 minutes early? also i learned that i can practice tree pose at work.
also i forgot to do the reading for art history. like entirely. what? who does that? 2 weeks into school and already i'm the worst student ever. LUCKY ME though, like the first thing professor anger said was "so i bet most of you were confused by the reading, i know it was kind of tricky so we'll spend a lot of time fleshing it out."
apparently though i need to work on my academic poker face. confusion sits on my face like makeup. except i wear confusion more often than i wear makeup.
(not that i gave away my entire lack of preparation via confused face; i just got a "you look like you have something to say, renata" and i said something about colors and it was acknowledged as a valid thing to say. but really. the more time i spend in discussion-based classes the more i hear things like that. i guess it's not really a bad thing but it is just kind of startling.)
also i did twooo sepc interviews today and now i'm done with them! for this review. and i got book 1 of the dresden files from the library! and i guess my account isn't blocked anymore. yesterday i got an email saying my account was billed for $37 from the library with no further explanation. i guess they halved the fine? i don't know.i don't even care to press the issue anymore. on one hand i guess i at least partially convinced them that i was sure i had turned it in, or why would they have reduced the fine? on the other hand, why didn't they just cancel the fine? but it is still missing. and like a random $40 fine is lame, but better than $75. and i've probably gotten $40 in free mugs alone from the library so i guess balance has been attained. or something?
also i haven't showered and i smell bad. not bad like sugar cookies, tobacco, and rum bad, but dirty. it's possible that it's all in my head but either way, god, renata, would it kill you to shower once in awhile, you dirty hippy?
i am such a procrastinatron. my paper is like, 1/3 done maybe. i don't know, i pulled a bunch of quotes and kind of have a thesis, so i guess like 1/2 the total work is done and 1/3 of it is written? but a brief interlude.
i just read neil gaiman's blog and found out about the special neil-based black phoenix alchemy lab scents, where the proceeds to go the comic book legal defense fund. i'd kind of looked at bpal before; i know a few internet types who are really into it, but i always just thought the scents sounded bizarre and unpleasant.
that is pretty much how i feel about the neil-inspired scents too.
mr. nancy: Sugar cookies with bay rum, tobacco, and lime.
what. the. fuck. who in the world wants to smell like sugar cookies, rum, tobacco, and lime? all at once? that sounds horrible. or mr. jacquel? Golden amber, hyssop, North African patchouli, and embalming spices. dude, bpal, the only time i want to smell like embalming spices is when i am dead.
the only one i thought might smell okay is spider, White ginger, artemesia, vetiver, nutmeg, King mandarin, bergamot, and lime. but i only know what about half of those things actually smell like. oh also mama-ji sounds like it might be nice, but not to wear. maybe as a home fragrance or something. Spices, cardamom, nutmeg, and flowers. so basically... chai tea and flowers.
when i wear fragrance, i wear GAP SO PINK. do you want to know what GAP SO PINK smells like? it smells nice. here is what the bottle says: a blend of citrus and flowers--so fresh, so bright, so pink. aside from the fact that, unless you are a synesthete, it doesn't actually smell pink, that description is concise and logical. CITRUS AND FLOWERS. CHRIST.