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Saturday, July 30, 2005

ahahah new favorite toothpaste for dinner ever.

that is all.

posted by ~renata~ at 11:12 PM
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oh man, so much sleep. mmm. last night was hilarious. i showed up at trina's house with chinese food, and she and her mom were sitting on the living room floor with this giant pile of makeup. and trina was like, "hey! do you want some makeup?" and i was like ".... sure...?" apparently they had just been visiting a family friend who works at the bergner's makeup counter. so she gave me a couple lip glossy things, one of which was called a "juicy tube," which we thought was hilarious. seriously. juicy tube.

and then we decided to watch a movie-- specifically, indiana jones and the last crusade. and we were both excited about watching it, because we both like indy and neither of us had watched any of them in awhile. but, we soon discovered that we were definitely not in the mood to watch it.. sample conversations:

trina: this is boring! when is he going to do stuff?

me: this movie is exciting, why is it so boring?

me: hey! it's just like the davinci code.
trina: i still haven't read that.
me: well, it's just like this movie. except not really.

anyway, so we turned it off after like 10 minutes and watched josie and the pussycats instead. except, as you know, i fell asleep. trina liked it, though-- can you believe she'd never SEEN it before? that's really impressive considering how often she hangs out with me. (luckily, she liked it, otherwise i'd have had to stop being friends with her.)

and then i came home and blogged about death and went to sleep. and slept s long, it was awesome, and then went out to lunch with my parents. and bought new shoes! AWESOME shoes.

and now i'm enjoying laziness. i tried to take a nap but i wasn't quite tired enough, and now i'm sort of vaguely uploading some photos. here are some things i am NOT doing at the moment:

- laundry
- packing
- cleaning
- researching stuff for london
- helping anyone roll up her sleeping bag or tent flap
- tying shoes, my own or otherwise
- keeping a fire going
- sweating

it is very enjoyable.

i kind of don't want to hang out with anyone or do anything tonight. i kind of just want to hang out here and lounge around. and read. and maybe watch teevee?

(i like new places because they give me new perspective on old places. camp makes me want grinnell. what will london make me want?)

posted by ~renata~ at 4:57 PM
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hmm. weird. i was SO SO tired before-- i fell asleep at trina's house IN THE MIDDLE OF JOSIE AND THE PUSSYCATS if that tells you how tired i was. (and then i woke up at the end and angrily recounted all the parts i missed. i don't think i actually need to watch this movie any more times.) anyway, but now i want to blog. i was sort of mentally blogging all the way home.

so: during staff training at camp we got all this talk about how we are chaning girls' lives this summer and camp is to make kids into better people, etc. i, frankly, bought into this. chick pea and everyone seemed really enthusiastic about it, it sounded plausible, i'm a liberal idealist, etc. and after pippi died i think i even more wanted it to be true, wanted camp to be something really meaningful.

but i don't think going to camp for a week really changes girls at all. here is the basic gist of the camp-change-girls idea: girls try new stuff, they gain confidence,they get independence, they make new friends, etc. but you know what? it's only a week. really. and yes, girls do come back summer after summer, so maybe it builds. but what i've seen this summer is mostly a lot of whiny, often-spoiled girls. girls who don't want to walk from their unit to the dining hall, let alone go on a hike. maybe they make new friends, but you know, i made new friends when i went to camp, and i maybe kept in touch with them by a few letters, but i always forgot about them when school started again. (uh, except for the handfull of them i ended up working with this summer.)

i went to this camp for like 8 years and now i'm back. i really did(/do) love this camp. but i really don't see camp as a formative influence on my life. obviously i can't tell precisely what stuff had an influence on my development as a person and what didn't, but i'm a pretty introspective person and i think i at least know myself better than anyone else did, and here's how i would rank the things that had the most impact on the person i am today:

1. my family. 2. my friends. 3. every book i've ever read. 4. the teenage mutant ninja turtles. 5. the educational system i went through. 6. technology.

and YET i kept going back to camp. and yet when i needed a job this summer i almost immediately thought about camp. but i'm really not an outdoorsy person. aside from camp i don't go hiking or anything like that, though i sometimes vaguely think i might like to.

i don't actually know what any of this means. i'm very tired.

and i still do enjoy my job, and i'm still thinking about going back next summer. but i'm just not at all sure what camp does for kids, what i'm doing for kids. also, i've decided that i definitely think it's ridiculous for people to say things like "i love kids!" why is that a much more acceptable statement than "i love 20-year-olds!"? because, i mean, many of my close friends are 20-year-olds, and yet many 20-year-olds are annoying, cruel, or unfriendly. similarly, while many children are delightful little beings, many of them are also cruel/annoying/obnoxious/whiny/etc. i do not like those children. perhaps i should make more of an effort to appreciate the inner beauty of these annoying children, you say? well, perhaps you should shut the hell up, i say.

aanyway... i also wanted to say. that i don't get much news out at camp but i've heard about the multiple bombings in london. (perhaps there have been more? perhaps the people responsible have been caught? i do not know. i will look at news later.) but. as msot of you know, i'm leaving for london in about 3 weeks (!). i have to admit that i was (and am, but better) nervous about it, when i heard about it. that is, after all, the point of terrorism, and somehow it frightened me more than 9/11 and terrorism here. there's a pretty simple explanation: london is a major metropolitan area, one that has now already been, and is a reasonable target for future acts of terrorism, whereas grinnell/normal/mackinaw are decidedly not. in these places i am much more likely to get run over by a tractor than to die in any sort of terrorist activity.

but still-- death is, theoretically, lurking around every corner. every time i get into a car i could possibly get into a fatal accident. next time i eat a peach i could choke to death on the pit. all sorts of crazy shit could happen, suddenly winking my life out of existence. why am i not constantly worried about this? because it's dumb. because i don't think it's going to happen to me. because i think i can somehow prevent these unpreventable things from happening to me. random acts of terrorism, though, don't seem preventable, in the way that falling pianos or drunk drivers, somehow, do.

so. i'm definitely not obsessed with the idea or anything, but, a little nervous, despite the irrationalness. i'm definitely still goinng to london, of course.i'd never be able to live with myself if i made myself miss an experience like a semester abroad because of my own uncomfortableness with my mortality.

but just in case, while i'm thinking about it, i want to say a few things. i hope it doesn't seem morbid or anything, and i'm certainly not planning on dying, but just in case i'd feel better if i said a few things. and like i said, now, while i'm thinking about it, not later when i'm too busy getting stuff ready to leave and whatnot.

1. seriously, i love just about everyone who reads this blog. all my friends and family are amazing and i hope you know that.
2. if i were to die right now i'd have few regrets. obviously i would regret not being able to live longer and do more stuff, but as far as my life up to this point? there's very little i'd go back and change if i had the chance.
3. if i die, instead of flowers please give money to your local library. do it!
4. in re my potential funeral: something written by douglas adams must be read. (i will leave exactly what up to someone else to choose, but i feel personally that a lot of his stuff would be relevant.) if there is music, "infinity hymn" by stuart davis must be played. additionally, "graceland" by paul simon would be recommended.

i think that's it. again, sorry if that seems morbid or creeps you out or anything. basically-- when i drive my mind wanders and i think about really random stuff. i drove for like 3 hours today. and right now i wanted to blog all the stuff i was thinking about while it seems important and relevant to me.

okay. i seriously need some sleep. perhaps tomorrow i will share some hilarious anecdotes, rather than musings about the impact of my summer job, my own formative years, and my eventual demise. but for now... well, this is all i've got for you all.

posted by ~renata~ at 1:25 AM
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Sunday, July 24, 2005

ARGH. i need to leave for camp like, now, but i just checked my email, and anyway, please check this out. but only if you care about america.

posted by ~renata~ at 9:34 AM
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Saturday, July 23, 2005

bullet points:

- weekend off!
- showered!
- hung out with sunflower, blue, and blue's booooyfriend ben
- still hanging out with sunflower! (she's drying her hair rightnow though, so i'm blogging)
- sunflower and i worked on our anti-nutrition badge last night. we got a good start a few weeks ago when we ate bacon, salami and cheese sandwiches, with potato chips and bacon on the side (typing that again- i still can't believe we ate that), but we were pretty non-nutritious last night too. and sunflower got mad when i ate a peach :( but then we ate lots of dinosaur ice cream so it was all good.
- oh, and i finished hbp. that'll get its own, longer post later. for now let me just say: OMGWTFBBQ.
- i get to see charlie & the chocolate factory today! finally!
- let's talk about how next week there will be 120 girls in camp! which is beyond capacity! and how i have to work with brownies! like 8 million of them! okay actually let's not. mustn't dwell, not on rex manning day.
- "i can't wait to blog about this."
"me neither! and then i'll blog this conversation too, it'll be so meta."
- excerpt from a camper evaluation: who were your counselors?
pepper, thumper, and sherwood

- "sherwood is angry!"
- "we should probably go help the children."
"well, i thought about that too, but then i realized that i don't actually like the children. in fact, i want the children to suffer."
- "zelda, you have the dumbest kids ever."
- "should we use the forks from our mess kits to roast marshmallows with?"
- "DANGEROUS BEHAVIORS"
- "okay, everybody get in a buddy line, and we'll have one threesome. heh... threesome."
- "what is the fastest gait we did this week?"
"elvira."

seriously. dumbest kids ever, this week. and it was like over 100 degrees every day. ah well, it was stilll fun. and i heart the camp staff. i wouldn't be able to handle that weather and those kids this week without all the awesome adults around.

anyway! zelda/zedla/sherwood/renata/reanta OUT.

posted by ~renata~ at 12:24 PM
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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

listening to: mojo nixon, elvis is everywhere

molly, if you're reading this, thank you so much for bringing this song into my life. no joke, it's the best thing i've ever experienced.

let's see. oh, first off: I STILL DON'T EVEN HAVE A COPY OF HBP BECAUSE I'VE BEEN AT CAMP FOR EVERRRRR SO IF ANYONE SPOILS ME I'LL STAB YOU IN THE FACEEEEEEEEEEE.

anyway. so. i worked two weekend programs in a row, which left me at camp for 13 days in a row. but i got a 24-hour break starting at 6pm yesterday! yay! hmm. let me think. first, i think i will blog about the events of last weekend, which was a "mom and me" weekend. however, it iis mostly hoteworthy for the birth of the people's republic of zeldatopia. (my camp name, in case you've forgotten, is zelda.)

oh- also, i forgot to mention this before, but you're totally reading the blog of a 20-year-old now!

anyway, back to the prz. (we call it the prz for short.) so, we do these staff secret buddy things, and my friend sunflower made a russian flag for her secret buddy, tweety. (who is.. from russia.) and she was saying "it's a good thing the russian flag is so easy to make, no stars or anything!" and i was teasing her and saying "why don't you make me a flag?" and she said "i just said the american flag is too hard!" and i said "i didn't want an american flag! i wanted a flag... for the people's republic of zeldatopia!" and we laughed. but then, she actually MADE me a flag, and it's so hilarious. the background is this ugly flowered fabric that was scrapped in the arts & crafts building (sunflower is the arts & crafts director) and then, in different flowered fabrics, it has a Z and a heart.


so NATURALLy, over the weekend i hung it in the shining star unit house and declared that shining star had been invaded by the prz. we also have a legal code (but they're more like guidelines-- it says so in the fine print.) the rules are:
1. be excellent to each other.
2. no pond scum.
3. all pre-sliced bread must be of a width appropriate for use in pie irons.
4. proper respect must be shown to usher, 50 cent, and others deemed worthy.
5. science sleuth is the best badge ever.
6. you can dance if you want to.

i feel that some of these laws might benefit from an explanation, so: that weekend. honeybee and i were watching out at the lake while they canoed, and the stupid moms and kids couldn't pull their own canoes back up to the boathouse, so we had to do all of them. and we got pond scum all over ourselves. and it was gross. and we had just started our own country (honeybee is the vice president of prz), so we decided to outlaw it.

then, the bread thing... we had to lead this cookout with the moms & daughters, and the kitchen basically just gave us this huge box of miscellaneous food. (usually we fill out packout orders and uh, get the food we want to make the meal we want.) so we ended up having half of them make foil dinners and the other half make pie iron pizzas (and then like,5 different desserts using the rest of the stuff). but the bread we had was texas toast sized, randomly, so it was really hard to squeeze it into the pie irons. and that made us sad.

usher/50 cent-- i was writing up the legal code with tiger lily (note: i typed her name as "liger lily" the first time, which is appropriate because she's a napoleon dynamite fan), who is the prz's minister of krunk, as well as the minister of funk. anyway, tiger lily and i are the ones who had the usher/50 cent loving children a couple weeks ago. we've also started the tradition of showing up for closing camp fire with our staff uniforms gangsta-fied (popped collars, rolled sleeves, innappropriate uses of bandanas, etc.)

oh, and science sleuth is the badge i ALWAYS see when i'm flipping through the badge book and immediately say "this is the best badge ever!" (it's SO cute. it's a question mark wearing a sherlock holmes hat. oh em gee.)

i feel the first and last laws should require no explanation. and by 'should require no explanation" i mean "everyone should obviously be familiar with both bill and ted's excellent adventure and men without hats." obviously.

anyway, so that was awesome. also, the official color of prz is pink. and the official animal is dinoaurs. all dinosaurs, not like any certain one. and sunflower and i (sunflower is the minister of propaganda, did i say that already?) bought this huge bag of little plastic dinosaurs and handed them out to all the staff. and we carry them around with us and have them roar at people.

the worst part of the weekend was supermom, as i started calling her (not to her face), but only because calling her "superbitch" would have been inappropriate. but now i can do it all i want, so, seriously, what a bitch. she was a super troop mom and had been to mom & me before and basically thought she knew everything about camp.and she kept correcting me about stuff. all the time. she corrected my banana boat making procedure *twice*. and fuck that, my banana boat making procedure is FINE. and then, and THEN, on her evaluation sheet, she gave me a 2 out of 5 and said that i had a "poor attitude." stupid bitch. fooortunately the ad staff just thought it was hilarious, because i clearly do not have a poor attitude. (okay, right now i do, b ecause i'm blogging about stupid supermom. but in GENERAL i have an awesome attitude.)

ahahaha.

okay. let's see. and then, THIS wekeend (seriously, even though it sucks not to get to come home, working weekends is fun.) i carried on a brief relationship with blue via walkie talkie and mix cds. cuz... she was in healhy house, and i was in the palace (the arts & crafts building-- more on that later) and we were both listening to music. and i got bored once all the kids got started on their basket weaving (ps, i'm now an official basket weaving instructor. ok not official, but i've done it. and their baskets mostly turned out ok, so, go me.) so i said "i have an important message for blue" and then held the walkie up to the cd player and played "i only wanna be with you." (and then sveske got jealous, so i played her the next song, which happened to be "everyday is a winding road"). and then blue played back.. i forget, i think "i just called to say i love you", and then we went back and forth with love songs. but then, i played "there's always someone cooler than you" and she played back gone ("i will consider you... gone") and we broke up. *tear* but we reconciled with "jitterbug" and "like a prayer" so that was okay. oh, also, in the pool earlier blue randomly came up tot me and was like "i whisper through my doughnut.." and i, being the ben folds fan that i am, responded "hey baby baby light that ass on fire!" so ever since we've been doing it to each other with whatever random stuff is around ("i whisper through my waffle," "i whisper through my clipboard," "i whisper through my pepper," etc.)

basically i love the camp staff. so hard.

what elllse? OH YEAH MY COON KILLING SHIRT. OKAY so, while i was teaching basket weaving (uh, and courting blue) the other girls were doing tie dye, and i wanted to do it too. so after they left, i said i'd dye my shirt real quick and then do the cleanup. by this time it was dark out, and we were doing it outside to avoid detting dye all over the palace. the shirt i had brought to dye was a white old navy flag tank top, and the only colors of dye we had were blue, red, and yellow. so i thought it would be cool to dye it red and blue. okay. and let's remeber that it was dark out. and, instead of having buckets of dye to dip cloth into, like i've always done tie dye, we had squirty bottles of dye. so i tied off my shirt and started dribbling dye on it. but, since it was dark i didn't realize that instead of doing blue and red all over, i was really doing red on the front and blue on the back. and the squirty bottles did not lead to even dye distribution. SO. long story shirt, it looks ike i dripped blood all down the front of my shirt. blue told me i should wear it as pajamas and then creep out kids who tried to wake me up in the middle of the night. and then she told me (in a really creepy voice) that i should call it my "coon killing shirt." which, in blue's creepy voice, is basically the funniest thing. EVER.

okay. so, after i post this i'm going to:
finish b urning cds for a few staff membbers
shower
get dressed
eat thai food with mom!
PICK UP MY PRE-BOUGHT HPB FINALLY
go to wal-mart
return to camp
PERFORM COLORS OF THE WIND USING SOCK PUPPETS AT THE TALENT SHOW WITH PEPPER, SUNFLOWER, HONEYBEE, AND THUMPER YESS
(seriously, my mom helped me-- a lot-- with the sock puppets, and they're SO GROOD. i'll have to post pictures later.)

PEACE OUT HOMIES. LONG LIVE PRZ.

posted by ~renata~ at 8:48 AM
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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

this is like, my third failed blog entry of the weekend. i'm determined to actually post this one. let me first say:

yes, i realize that not liking batman begins places me in a very small minority. i don't care, i'd rather watch freaking batman and robin. YES THAT'S THE ONE WITH GEORGE CLOONEY IF THAT GIVES YOU ANY IDEA WHAT I THINK OF BATMAN BEGINS. (actually i probably will end up watching bb again when it's on video, just to see if it improves on a second viewing... but i definitely won't be shelling out $7.50 for it again. and in the meantime i'll continue to be sullen and resentful toward everyone who told me it was going to be good. oh and actually i kind of liked batman and robin even in all its terrible lameness. in superhero movies i'll take terrible lameness over senseless boredom anyday.)

anyway. i've had a very nice extended weekend. friiiday night i came home and... did... something. i... seriously... what... OH, heh, i saw batman begins with ashvin. and then i went home and went to sleep, and archimedes woke me up like a million times because he wanted to lick my face.

i should probably explain that archimedes is a cat. he was like, the friendliest stray cat ever at camp, and sveske decided to adopt him. but, he couldn't stay at camp alone for the july 4th break, since *everyone* went home, so i took him (cuz sveske was staying with blue and blue couldn't take him.)

aaanyway. then saturday i went up (over) to iowa city and hung out with miriam! yay! and having been returned to civilization at large after life at camp, we naturally went shopping. and i bought the best shoes ever. and they were on sale. seriously, they're hot pink and black plaid kangaroos (with the zippy pocket on the side) and they have pink laces, and, yes.and we went to the haunted bookstore (it's a store, called "the haunted bookstore," it's not actually haunted. i don't think. and kait told me there's a book called the haunted bookstore, so, yes.) anyway, and i bought some books! <3 books.

also, i now own the 10th anniversary edition of pocahontas and i'm taking sam with me back to camp and on our offtime pepper and i are going to watch it! because omg yes, pepper loves pocahontas as much as i do. yess.

let's see. saturday night miriam and i watched batman forever and revelled in its cheesiness. and sunday we... ate indian food, and were awesome. and then i left.

and... yesterday... went bowling with trina, elora, and ashvin, and sort of failed at watching fireworks, and then went ooout to stephanie's house where mike&mike set off a bunch of stuff they got from indiana.

let me see. camp has been going pretty well. we had some whiny kids last week, and pepper and i were basically on our own which was a little stressful but surprisingly manageable. (pepper & i are both new staff, and our unit leader was also the cit director so she was mostly busy with the cits and couldn't help us much.) exciting moments;

pepper and zelda are the best counselors ever, part 1: dude, our kids had the worst flag ceremonies ever. we showed them how to do it and practiced with them and... man, they just sucked at flag. and then they started FIGHTING over the flag while they were trying to fold it, and pepper and i fucking lost it and just started giggling in the middle of the flag ceremony...

pepper and zelda are the best counselors ever, part 2: uh, we didn't know how we were supposed to do our paperwork for requesting arts & crafts... specifically we didn't know we had to do ANY paperwork... so we sort of showed up for our scheduled time and sunflower wasn't there... and we were like um... "here are some beads and string. go nuts." and then we listened to sunflower's disney mix cd but we made the girls listen to "colors of the wind" like 3 times, because pepper and i are obsessed. they didn't seem to notice, though.

pepper and zelda are the best counselors ever, part 3: we had to lead songs after breakfast one day, and we were so tired and.. whatever... that we kept forgetting songs and laughing hysterically...i just... it won't be funny to explain unless you already know the songs, but just trust me, we screwed up the "i met a bear" song pretty awesomely.

pepper and zelda are the best counselors ever, part 4: this week our girls were required to earn the "water wonders" badge, whch is the stupidest badge ever. but so like, for one requirement we had to talk about a drought... and we were talking about the dust bowl and i started explaining the great depression in... uh...excessive detail. lesson learned: 4th graders really only need to hear "people were poor" and not "well, the stock market was unstable because too many people were buying on margin- er, with money they didn't really have- and uh, OW ARCHIMEDES I AM NOT A JUNGLE GYM.okay anyway, you get the point, it was funny. jeeze that hurt. *frowls at cat* also we had to do this experiment with salt water/fresh water to see which would boil first, and it was fresh, and we had NO idea why or how to explain it to the girls. (science types: don't worry, ashvin already explained it to me, you don't have to leave an elaborate comment.)

pepper and zelda and tiger lily are the best counselors ever, part 5: so, during our "get to know you' games it was revealed that many of our girls really like usher. direct quotes: "he's a dreamboat!" "he has a really ripped body!" which, we thought was hilarious, yet disturbing. so, led by tiger lily, we encouraged the popping of collars and the gangsta-fication of bandanas. and we kept talking (TL-straight facedly, the rest of us not so much) about how hot usher is and how we hoped he could come to camp and do a concert for us and... yeah.

anyway, that's about it. oh except, i've been working on uploading some pictures to flickr which is really slow and annoying, but i've got some up. (theyre not organized yet though, because the ORGANIZR won't load...) anyway though, you can see them here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/heyjupiter.

posted by ~renata~ at 10:49 AM
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Sunday, July 03, 2005

okay hi. i'll post later, with adventures and anecdotes and whathaveyou.

but for now, i just have to say:

i can't remember the last time i was as disappointed by a movie as i was by batman begins. i think i can summarize the whole movie in two words (and one set of html tags): seriously, what?

i just don't understand how it could be so predictable and yet NOT MAKE ANY SENSE. and did i need to see like, an hour of ninja training and like a half-hour history of each individual part of the batsuit? NO I DID NOT.

i'm glad i saw it with ashvin, though, we kept each other amused. mostly by giving each other our best WTF faces when necessary. which was often.

(seriously though: WHAT?)

posted by ~renata~ at 7:17 PM
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