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Friday, January 09, 2004

listening to: bree sharp, america

people are stupid.

(re: blessings of liberty)

You need to check all your chapters, You keep using "you" to identify a
character, and I have no idea who is saying what. It is so confusing that I cannot
read the story. I recommend using characters names at the start of when thay
are speaking. So please redo the entire story


i wanted to write the guy back and say "sorry, you must be at least [this] smart to read my fic, and apparently you fail." but i didn't. *sigh* i even went back to re-read the chapters to see if he had a point... but i'm pretty sure that, assuming you're not an idiot, i did identify the speaker within like.. the first paragraph. (ie... chapter 2, if you didn't gather it was the president because 'you' were calling the first lady "abbey" and not "mrs. bartlet", you should have gotten it when mrs. landingham called 'you' "mr. president"... maybe that's just me, though.)

so yeah, i think that's my new favorite feedback. (replacing... let me find it... I love stories where no one gets stuck with the fuzzy end of the lolly-pop or in this case candy cane... what does that even mean? ah, i shouldn't make fun of people who actually bother to read my stuff. but sometimes they deserve it ^_^)

feeling better today. sleep is my friend. *dances*

plus mom rented pocahontas 2 and road to el dorado for me ^_^;; life is good.

wow. kaaait, thanks for pointing this out ^_^ (medieval oregon trail *and* clerks?! whoa.) i read neil's blog about once a week... i try to save it for when i get really bored.

posted by ~renata~ at 2:21 PM
(0) commented with care

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