Title: Conclusions
Rating: PG
Category: J/S, angst
Words: 235
Summary: Sam comes to one.
Notes: 15 minute ficlet.

I've always been a good writer, but I've never been good with conclusions. To this day, I never feel quite comfortable with a speech unless Toby has checked the conclusion. I can introduce a topic, expand upon it, write brilliant lines of prose. But when it comes time to tie everything back together, I fall apart. If I was going to read into that, I'd say it was a metaphor for my entire existence. I've never been good at knowing when to stop, and when I do, it tends to be with a startling abruptness. When I left Lisa, when I left Gage Whitney Page... it's not something I'm skilled at.

And deep down, I know this, and sometimes I wonder why I even bother to start things. Like with Josh-- I love him, I know I love him. Sometimes I think he might love me too. But I also know that whatever feelings he might have for me, carried around in that sweet, goofy heart of his, hidden behind those eyes... it's nothing compared to the feelings he has for Donna.

Unfortunately, Josh doesn't know this yet. Donna does; she's more perceptive than she lets on.

So I smile, and I gently refuse his clumsy prospositions, and I conclude it before it has begun.

I know it's the right thing to do.

I just wish it could feel like the right thing to do.

--fin

renata at frowl org

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