[::..The Optic Monologues..::]

[::..Monday, October 28, 2002..::]

oh my GOD. people are so dumb. i'm watching this thing on discovery about this family that moves into an evil house. and the mom is seriously braindead. they KNOW it was a funeral home. like, before they even move in, the mother is mopping the floor in the kitchen and the water turns to blood. and she said she was just like "what's wrong with this floor?"
um. it's EVIL.
and then all this other scary shit happens. like...... a younger son hears a low voice calling his sick-with-cancer brother's name from the BODY FREEZER in the basement. crucifixes kept diappearing. the kids see people. something took the form of a younger sister one night. and the mom doesn't believe them! like......... wtf? i would never have slept in that house. i mean, the freaks next door to me have a 5-foot trashbag spider hanging more or less in front of my door, and it weirds me out. people are so retarded. if a demon was terrorizing my cancer-victim son, i think i would fucking leave.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 12:04 AM..::]

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[::..Thursday, October 24, 2002..::]

going through my head all day:

sarah: this church is, for the most part, spanish-baroque, and built of native limestone. the original church was built on this site in 1674, and reconstructed between 1704 and 1724...
sky: it's almost impossible to believe......
sarah: well, that's not very old for a church. why, long for 1674 there were missionaries, even in the...
sky: what does it say about the moonlight?
sarah: the moonlight? well, it's very bright, isn't it?
sky: so bright you can even read your guidebook by it.
sarah: now that you mention it.
sky: what does it say about the music?
sarah: the music? it's a lovely tune.
sky: sister sarah, let me read out of sky masterson's guidebook about you. you could be locked away in a room, with no sun, no moon, no laughter, no music, no love.... and you wouldn't care. you could still be a missionary.
sarah: the cobblestones in this plaza are approximately four centuries old.......

i think i'm the only person alove who thinks mr.brando was a wonderful sky. they should have dubbed the vocals.


[::..Del dropped a spore at 11:29 PM..::]

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seinfeld is not funny.
friends is not funny.
david letterman is not funny.

so why is it that i lose my remote when ONLY these shows are on? i kind of like seinfeld sometimes, and sometimes i can watch friends and not want to stab myself. but i just want my remote back, because i'm missing my jon stewart.

renata, love? did you die? where are you? i'm getting weirded out, because you update your blog, yet you're never online. it's almost like maybe you've never existed, and you're really just some 47-year-old pakastani man leading us all on. or maybe it's all part of the bionic squirrel conspiracy.

btw. i saw lilo and stitch last night. go me. oh, and i want to see the ring so bad. you don't understand. and no one wants to go. it was hard enough to get andrea to go see red dragon with me. everytime i say i want to go see the ring, they're like "can't we go see sweet home alabama? and i *do* want to go see sweet home alabama. i really do. but that's something i could appreciate on DVD. the ring is something that wouldn't be as effective if i was watching it from my bed with a care bears pillow.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 6:00 PM..::]

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[::..Monday, October 21, 2002..::]

so. i'm gonna have to drop lit. which will put me at a part-time student standing. which will fuck me over. which wouldn't have happened if i had stayed in script analysis instead of dropping it to take concert choir. if i stay in it, though, i'll get a bad grade and will be expelled at the end of this semester. which may happen anyway. i keep asking myself what makes this worth the trouble. none of this would have happened if i had gotten cleared by disability services before midterms. i keep telling myself that, but then i wonder if disability services would cover a severe case of loser the same way they would ADHD.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 1:19 PM..::]

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[::..Thursday, October 17, 2002..::]

My Type Is:
INFP

Introverted: 11%
-slightly expressed introvert
Intuitive: 56%
-moderately expressed intuitive personality
Feeling: 22%
-slightly expressed feeling personality
Percieving: 56%
-moderately expressed perceiving personality

[::..Del dropped a spore at 11:57 AM..::]

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[::..Wednesday, October 16, 2002..::]

i got a second set of piercings in my ears last night on a whim. it totally didn't hurt at all. i must have more.

you know what i miss? i miss watching VH1 while eating peachy rings with thom, then getting fucked up and going driving. i miss going to IHOP at 2 in the morning with josh to talk about kant and corps. i miss hanging out at the hazlett's house like i lived there. if we want to go waaaay back to HS, i miss having art and enlgish with sarah. (hell, i miss being friends with sarah.) i miss rock shows at the seed park in bridgeport. i miss band bowling on friday nights. i miss post-band-camp-Pizza-Slut-bitch-fest with erin. i miss yelling at WalMart employees in italian with josh. i miss post-sundown hijinks like snipe hunting and satan-housing with colby and phillip. i miss driving around with militoni.

i miss everything about my friends. i keep getting the feeilng that i'll never have friends like that again, which is ironic, since at the time i didn't think i had any real friends. i won't be taking them for granted anymore. i'm seriously losing my mind. i'm going to cram as much into this weekend as i possibly can, because fun is a foreign concept to these kids, i swear to god. lots of people to see this weekend. i'm not doing well this semester because disability services is fucking stupid. if things keep going this badly, i may get to see them a lot more after i get booted out of school.
yeah. you heard me right.

major boy issues. and major me issues. if you want to know, ask. i'm not posting it here. too long.
-unrelated sirens-
i hate teases. of both sexes.

my sympathy and hugs for emily today. i was there a year ago, and i'm here today.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 8:20 PM..::]

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[::..Tuesday, October 15, 2002..::]

god fucking damnit. i think i'm getting sick. and i have a concert to go to in exactly a week. fuck fuck fuck.

i got my cabaret DVD today! yes!

[::..Del dropped a spore at 5:16 PM..::]

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i would like to make it known that, today during band, mr.allen said:

"give up the funk. UUUNH."
"dancing and singing and moving to the grooving"
and my personal favorite:
"we're going to turn this mother ouuuut."

the title to our opener actually says "play that funky music, caucasian fellow." i have never, ever laughed so hard at band.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 2:04 AM..::]

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[::..Monday, October 14, 2002..::]

terrible terrible weekend. worse monday. shoot me in the face.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 5:42 PM..::]

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[::..Thursday, October 10, 2002..::]

i painted productively.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 5:03 PM..::]

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oh my JESUS CHRIST.

vanilla ice is on a rerun of SNL. and he's wearing a sparkly silver and black jacket with shoulderpads.
that has "WORD TO YOUR MOTHER" on the back in sparkles.

and now they all simulating sex as a dance break.
hee. they're trying to get the audience to chant "ICE ICE BABY", and there's, like, one guy. funnie.
i'm so horribly scarred. i'm going to need reconstructive surgery.

check out the hook while my DJ revolves it....

[::..Del dropped a spore at 1:39 AM..::]

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mmmmm. pepperoni bread. yes.

thursdays good. easy classes. no band.

pepperoni bread better.

i've worked out my classes for next spring (almost), and i'll have accomodations by tomorrow or friday (hopefully). which means i get early registration. sweeeet.

i like peach soda.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 12:39 AM..::]

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[::..Wednesday, October 09, 2002..::]

my case against whining bitches
by EasyAsDel

our arts building is being completely redone. all arts departments are scattered all over the campus and city. the school held an arts forum so students could address head faculty about facility frustrations. "good idea".
but who showed up? some marching band kids to represent us. why? to complain about joe allen, the Marching Blue director. "bad idea".
what does that have to do with art facilities? nothing? i thought so. apparently they didn't get the memo.
last saturday, we had a morning rehearsal before the game, as always. mr.allen gave us a really shitty amount of time to eat, get dressed, and report at McAffee Gym. about 45 minutes, tops. i agree that that's not enough time by any means. huge mistake on his behalf. the sun was searing that day, and we're wearing wool/polyester blend uniforms. we marched to the South Quad, played, Marched to McAfee, played, marched to the president's tent, played, and marched halftime. not good. quite a lot of people ended up sick by halftime, and a lot of people went home. we're usually in the shade of the stadium after we march pregame, but there was a miscommunication between mr.allen and The Man, and they sold our damn seats. so we had to sit on the visitor's side, in constant sunlight. people got sick and such. 'twas a hard day.
quite a lot of the band was outraged. they blame everyone getting sick on mr.allen. since it's obviously someone else's fault. even though LOTS of water was provided at the game. even though if you had planned ahead, you could have brought money for food at the game. even though we knew we wouldn't have very much time to eat, and we could have had something ready to eat when we got home. even though you can put a poptart and some vitamins in your damn jacket. even though half the people bitching about it went to subway or something, which takes forever and a day. awww, did he not give you enough time to eat *exactly* what you want to eat? poor baby.
now, given, some people have dietary needs. section leaders and DM's had to stay for a meeting, so they got a lot less time. some had to deposit their instruments at McAfee before they could even go eat. and it takes some awhile just to get back to their rooms/car. so i'm not saying there isn't plenty room to complain. but is it really such a big issue that you need to go to a forum like that and put him down when he's not there to defend himself? it was retarded of mr.allen to make that mistake. but god, you'd think he was human or something. no one got badly hurt. no one died. hell, i was one of the people sidelined after pre-game. you know why? because i'm hyper-sensitive to heat. my average body temperature is higher that the nomal 19 year-old girl's. i dehydrate very, very quickly. it's my responsibility to make plans according to the time i'm given, however unreasonable. people are also insisting that they had to eat so fast that it made them sick. wtf? that doesn't make you dehydrated or sick. it makes you cramp, and it gives you nausea. and no one was getting cramped...... they were getting faint and tired from the SUN. well, most of them. some were getting sick because they literally had no time to eat. and that's allen's fault.
to quote the DEN.......

Art students shared their thoughts of their new facility and marching band members commented about frustration with marching band director, Joe Allen.

that's the opening sentance on the front page. could they have been more tactless? i think mr.allen's feelings are a bit hurt, and rightfully so. i don't blame him.

Members of the Eastern marching band also took the opportunity to discuss their problems. Frustrations arose from an incident that occurred two weeks ago before the football game against Illinois State. After an early morning practice, marching band members were only given 55 minutes to eat lunch, get in uniform, and report for the game. In wool uniforms in mid-80-degrees weather, band members then performed at MacAfee Gymnasium, the South Quad, in front of a tent in the tailgating lot and for 20 minutes for the pregame, all without a break.

did we get water before pre-game? i can't remember. it seems like we did. i don't see how on earth this was allen's fault. it was the heat. it was a cloudless day. half the band had no sunglasses, and it was right in our eyes. almost all the people were getting heat exhaustion.
i'm not blaming the band..... i think the people that didn't have enough time to eat have every right to complain..... but first in a formal letter/meeting with allen. then, if that fails, a formal letter/meeting with dr.stoner. THEN you go to The Man. but most of the people bitching *could have* planned ahead. i ate at the union, got dressed, and headed over. i was only 5 minutes late. if you live in carmen, tough shit. plan ahead and put your uniform in a friend's room.

One student and a marching band member said some of the members felt sick afterwards and that one girl could barely walk.

lol! are they talking about me? i certainly hope not. i couldn't walk because i overheat all the time. anyone in band knows that i have to sit down and take water breaks a lot. omg. if they're referring to me, i'm so amused. abernathy was kind enough to help me to my seat. i got water, my body temperature dropped back to normal, and i was ok. i wasn't exerting myself long enough to get sick. i wasn't dry-heaving and panting like i do when it's severe (alkaline triiiio), so it really wasn't much of a big deal.

One music major student brought up the fact that he thought music classes should receive more credit hours. He gave an example of how he says he has 13 credit hours and people don't think it is a big deal, but then how he tells them he is also taking eight classes.

most of our classes are 1 credit because if they were more, we would only be able to take 1 or 2 a semester instead of the usual 6 or so. and we'd be here until the end of time. a chimp could have figured that out. is everyone in this program missing a chromosome? *sigh* i love them anyway. but the only thing eastern students are good for is complaining.

but i'm complaining right now. so i should stop. i'm stopping. yes. :)

[::..Del dropped a spore at 7:52 PM..::]

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[::..Monday, October 07, 2002..::]

there's a little problem in the 2nd floor McKinney bathroom.
there are pubes on every toilet seat. just one single pube. much like the mint on your pillow at a swanky hotel. i don't know where they come from. well, wait..... i do know where they come from. really. but they're always dark. so, i don't know if some girl on our floor has premature hair loss in her crotch or what. but it's so annoying. because at least 3 of the 6 toilets have a rogue pube on the seat. one of the 6 ALWAYS has skid marks. always. and sometimes there's a mystery liquid on the floor by one toilet, and i can't think of any possible way that that could work. so that leaves one remaining toilet that isn't gross. but you know what? yesterday was the last straw. i found one on the SINK.
soooo...... either someone is plucking their pubes and sprinkling them all over the bathroom so no one can use the bathroom, (which is actually a really amusing idea), or we have a pube fairy on our hands. well, not on our hands. i hope. whatever.... as long as i don't find one under my pillow, i suppose i can deal.

theory exam Wednesday.
theory midterm Friday.

i still have no accomodations. i won't get extended time on either. which means i'll most likely fail both. every time i try to get the proper papers sent off, something prevents me from doing so. it's like someone up there wants me to get booted out of school, which will happen if i fail any more classes.

i have a baby shower to attend on Nov.17. :)

i broke down and bought the Cabaret DVD. it'll take forever to get here, but it was only 15.00. which is worth the wait.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 10:20 PM..::]

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[::..Sunday, October 06, 2002..::]

goddamn. between kernel23 or whatever, AIM randomly closing, the internet randomly shutting down, the cable cutting out 24 hours a day, and my phone not ringing, i seriously just feel like stabbing the next person i meet in the face. this is fucking absurd.

but..... i miiight be seeing rocky with renata. so yay! WSS and possible Rocky, all within a month.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 8:16 PM..::]

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why did no one inform me that i was going to experience withdrawl? i feel really transparent, if that makes sense. and dizzy. and just plain weird. there is no word for this feeling. i've also been having really weird dreams. i'm not sure which ones are real, and which ones actually happened. i'm not in pain or anything. if any other situation, i'd actually think this was kind of fun. if i didn't feel like i was going to hurl.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 3:55 PM..::]

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[::..Friday, October 04, 2002..::]

flipping the fuck out.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 8:36 PM..::]

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i'm the proud owner of 2 West Side Story tickets. on Halloween. hope no one has anything planned. i'm sketchy, esp. since the seats aren't up to my normal standard (row 10 or closer, pseudo-center). but every halloween for the last few years i just end up sitting around wishing someone would call. so i think it's a good bet. and the seats are decent. Sec. OR05F, Row K, seats 14-16. it's close enough, i think, but i'm worried about being over so close to the side. oh, well. no sense worrying about it now.

i can't wait to see Cool.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 8:14 PM..::]

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so, i think i'm going to get west side story tickets. i feel bad always asking for show tickets, even though i have permission to do so ahead of time. but this is WSS. it hasn't toured nationally in awhile. and.... it's WSS. i'm seriously considering going solo. i don't know. thom might like to go, but i have to go on a thursday. well, ok, a thursday, a friday, or a saturday. but i'd get better seats on a thursday. maybe. renata, do you like WSS? anyone? come ON. it's bernstein. you can't go wrong. what else am i spending my parents' hard-earned money on this year, you ask? i've got my finalists:

The Lion King (duh)
Les Mis (because it's closing on B'way, and i'd never pass up the chance)
The Full Monty* (i don't think i need to explain)

*i'm so happy about The Full Monty. all the musicals i adhere to are so depressing. they're all like "aids! nazis! hopelessness! herion abuse! abortion! death! war! poverty!" i'm going to buy The Full Monty CD, and i know i'll like it. and then i can like a musical that's all "upbeat tempo! color! strippers! funnies! penises!"

i'm skipping Blast! because....... i own it. it's not like it's changed. and the second act is beyond retarded.
i'm skipping The Producers because i want to see nathan lane and matthew, goddamnit. it doesn't seem worth the ludicrous prices. it's still so tempting, though, because it's such a funny show. and i know i'd love it.
i'm skipping 42nd Street because they smile too much. it's like a tap-dancing Donna Reed.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 2:53 PM..::]

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[::..Thursday, October 03, 2002..::]

oh. my. god. les mis is closing on broadway. les mis closes while phantom of the fucking opera remains open. why? jesus. i creepishly enough wore my les mis shirt today. but wow. les mis closing........ i guess this spring will be the last time i see if for a long time. i never got to see it on B'way. i'm so sad. but the revival will be so awesome. tomorrow comes, i suppose.
playbill.com story

*listening to one day more*

it makes me wonder how long cabaret has. i heard from a little manman that it may be very soon. that will be the darkest day of my life. cabaret can never close. sam mendes is my bitch.

not to make this my drug journal, but i ran out of effexor yesterday. so i'm going to be 100% easy-as-del for a week or so. this should be interesting.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 10:29 AM..::]

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[::..Tuesday, October 01, 2002..::]

i fucking hate this. i can't do anything without meds. i really just want to be normal for, like, a day.

[::..Del dropped a spore at 11:11 PM..::]

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