:: The Optic Monologues ::

:: Thursday, February 28, 2002 ::

Take the "How immature are you?" Test

created by sami

Come get your fortune read!

Created by ptocheia

How do they KNOW?

:: Delanor Benson 11:32 AM [+] ::
...

::The RENTboards are moving to www.compusivebowlers.com, and I want to keep this review and re-post it. So I'll stick it here until we're all set up.::

here goes.

~Sends enormous amounts of love to Katie, Kelly, Renata, Emily, Rick, and Holly........ braving the cold with me. I had illegal amounts of fun. Lute. woot. Here's to future trips with the Colli and Joannes. And to Taboo and Catch Phrase.

I'd like to say that it was roughly 16 degrees the entire rush. We were under a roofie thing and blocked from the wind.... otherwise it would have been unbearable. But apparently I was the only one who was incredibly cold. I need to invest in warmer rush supplies.
I got caught in a pseudo-blizzard on the way there. Nothing but snow and ice covered roads all the way there and back. Friends have never looked so good.
I apparently resembled a giant ladybug in my black hat and red blanket. Renata spooned me all night. Paying Rent never felt so good.
Moved to and slept in the car because apparently sub-zero temperatures aren't good for mono and strep.

Show was in a GYM. wtf. Rush seats were so close, I couldn't extend my legs. They hit the stage. If someone's shoe was untied, I could have tied it for them. There was no contact fence, no snow, and no St.Marks paraphanalia coming down from the fly. "Clark Mims passes to Bruce...... he fades back........ he shoots, OH! and it's bad! Foul on The Man! Through the wings, over the platform, around the angel head, through the door, off the sculpture tree........ nothin' but net!"

David as Mark - wow. seriously. he's really good. he looks the part to me...... he's kind of how I picture Mark. He's got a really good singing voice. I think he's used to singing 'pretty', so he's afraid to bust out his chest voice and grind it. But he will. His blocking was fine..... I can't believe he's new. His LVB dance/solo was great. 'To any passing fad' is my favorite yet. I think he's a little uncomfortable to let loose, and T:M was a little starchy at first, but that will come. He's an amusing Mark too. His Halloween was beautiful...... I cried. A lot. I never cry anymore, so that says something. His glasses are really cool. Since I was staring at people's shoes, I noticed..... he and Kevin both wear really strange shoes. I see Mark as a converse hi-tops kinda guy. But whatever. Vocally, he wasn't off-pitch too much at all...... which is a huge compliment with this cast. I think what WAS off-pitch was just fear. nerves. it happens. He gets a B++ from me.

Kevin - he's amazing. He's a total overactor...... which is usually a bad thing, but he just puts so much into everything he does..... it's ok. It's great. He's so emotional. Real tears. I mean, his movements are so exaggerated, but they're beautiful too. I can't describe it. But I love this guy. And what a voice. Damn. He wears a lot of eyeliner......

Jackie as Mimi - awww! she is so cute it's illegal. Such a pretty voice. I think she was a little nervous..... her OT dance was really stiff, but all the other times her movements seemed natural. She could have used more facial expressions. I still enjoyed her, though. She's so skinny, the OT pants are loose on her. Crazy.

Haneefah as Joanne - I thought I was seeing Jackie Arnold all over again. They sound similar, they look similar....... she was great. She hasn't gone on that much, but she didn't seem to uncomfortable with it. Great chemistry with Sara, and a fun interpretation. I like her better as Joanne, yet I miss her rockin' out the platform during Rent.

Cole - how cool is Cole. I could listen to him sing all day. He really makes the waiter interesting.

Noreen as SOLoist1 - o.m.g. I love love LOVE her solo. She rivals Cicily in my book. Cicily for nailing that note with volume and then some, and Noreen for doing............ stuff. Like, I hope one of you audio-ed SOL. I can't even describe her. What a freekin' voice. The wardrobe was great. All totally different, since she's rail skinny and Haneefah is womanly.

Jay - scary scary scary The Man. The hood. I think he may be sick or something....

Justin - He's so good. I really, really like his Angel. I have no complaints.

Bruce - He smiles at me and I have no choice but to smile. I cried during ICY:R too. Just wonderful..... I love the chemistry between him and Justin.

really responsive crowd..... I was impressed. They've really improved since Muncie. I really, really enjoyed myself at the show. It was wonderful. Music-wise............ feh. I hate saying this, because I hate being all critical, but the tempo and intonation was really frightening in some parts. The band has gotten less stiff since the beginning, but........ aaaaaah. A whammy bar in OSG? wtf? I'm still a little tired..... it was a rough rush and a rough trip home, so I'm a little out of it......... I'll try to think of more. Great show.
:: Delanor Benson 11:16 AM [+] ::
...

Today is Online Quizzes With Cool Graphics Day. *throws confetti*

Which tarot card are you?
The High Priestess sucks. I don't want to be her. I like The Tower and The Star and stuff.

	Yuoo ere-a zee Svedeesh Cheff! Yuoo ere-a a guud cuuk, thuoogh yuoo cun't speek Ingleesh fery vell. Bork Bork Bork!
Take the What Muppet Are You? Quiz!

omg, the muppets are my world. jim henson is/was a great comedian. i can watch The Muppet Show over and over, and i'll find little things each time that amuse me. My favorite muppets are Crazy Harry (the guy that wanders around and blows shit up every 5 seconds), Lou Zealand (the guy that throws fish........ how can you not love that....), and the sveedish chef. I respect Fozzie, too. His jokes are never funny, but he tells them nontheless. Kind of like mine.

...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?

I'm Bill Weasley AND Sirius. A big black dog with a ponytail and an earring.

Where's your corner of the Twilight Zone?


Take the Twilight Zone test!

I didn't actually get this one as an answer........ I got the episode where the guy like reading, but never has the time... then the world end or something and he finally has all the time in the world... but he steps on his glasses, breaking them. I like that one, but the living doll episode is scarier than...... something really scary, sooo...... it wins.

:: Delanor Benson 2:04 AM [+] ::
...

Which Rainbow Brite kid are you? By Growing.
:: Delanor Benson 1:41 AM [+] ::
...

yayness! Rent happened last night. Was outside in the elements for 16 hours. Totally worth it. My 11th time. Yes. The drive home was so bad...... like, I cried half the way, because my phone was missing, and I had to drive for 2 hours on I-136, which is a barren, flat farmland with almost no towns at all. I was falling asleep at the wheel, yet I had to pay 110% attention to the road, because the entire way it was snow and ice. Couldn't even see the road half the time. Completely dark. So scary. I'm lucky I made it home with no trouble.... I pulled over at the only McDonalds and slept for a couple hours. I HATE driving alone so, so much. I don't think I'll be doing solo trips anymore.

I can't sing. Like, at all. I can't even match pitch...... it's so sad.
:: Delanor Benson 11:41 PM [+] ::
...

tired. really tired. want to share wisdom of Aristotle. too tired. can't share wisdom. have papers due tomorow. i can't finish them. i can't even think. want to ask for extention. asking too much? drank a little bit last night with thom. fun stuff. hate school. hate elitest people at school. want to go to school and learn without fucking stupid people and......... um, tests and papers. like, why do profs get pissed at me when i say I'm sick? realize they get bogus excuses from everyone, but i rarely ever try to excuse myself from anything. i hate asking people to 'excuse' me. i have legit reasons. but i don't make lame excuses. i'm sick. feel shitty.

and I'm being whiney. oops.

went to the wind ensemble concert today and the percussion concert friday. both were so great. i need CDs of both. went on my weekly solo excursion to Steak 'n' Shake tonight. nearly fell asleep in my grilled cheese. need to buy DCI finals tickets. August 10. someone remind me of that. my superman backpack is ghetto. i'm really freeking tired.

so, apparently emily and i are trying to get to macomb now. so i may be seeing rent on tuesday instead of wednesday.

:: Delanor Benson 11:20 PM [+] ::
...

I haven't posted in awhile.
I have mono. And strep. In all honesty, the mono isn't what's painful. The tylenol keeps that under control. That and my fever. But my throat hurts more than words can express.
Allen told me today that I should drop concert band. Because I'm failing. Because of all the days I've missed. Which I understand kind of, but it still toasts my buns. Because he'll have an uneven number of clarinets, and I played second. He needs 6 fucking clarinets. Not 5. I can play the music, seeing as how it's fucking HIGH SCHOOL concert band shit. You know, we're playing Fanfare for Windband. Jesus. I don't even want to talk about the happenings of yesterday.
:: Delanor Benson 7:21 PM [+] ::
...

Happy Singles Awareness Day!
I usually dred this day, but for some reason I'm really giddy. Dancing to and from the bathroom *NOT the potty dance* and singing. I don't know....... I feel like something good is going to happen today. I feel peaceful, which is rare. I'm eating those little candy hearts And burning a Singles Awaresess Day CD. It's an affirmation of self. And a Lovey-Gooey CD. It's an affirmation of....... gooeyness. I feel like no one can drag me down. Let's see how long it lasts........
I hope my performance final isn't today. Because I can't do it. That sucks. Still don't have a horn, so I can't go to applied again.
Watched Moulin Rouge. Cried. Again. I'm eventually going to write an analysis of it. I haven't written anything decent in months. Nothing non-fiction, anyway.
Should I not be lining my eyes with ink pen every few days? Is that toxic...?

Listening To: Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice. loling. Turn off the lights, and I GLOW!
Mood: Perky
Watching: My So-Called Life
:: Delanor Benson 8:38 AM [+] ::
...

Ok, so I want an apartment in the worst way. I want it with every cell in my being. But I have no one to share it with. And it's more expensive than dorms. So it looks like no apartment for del next semester. As long as I get a single, I'm ok. And I will. I think I want to live in Ford or Weller. They're nice and cozy. And I could get a single. Maybe this time a *normal* single instead of a physical one.

Reasons I need an apartment:
I haven't had Velveeta Shells N' Cheese in so long
My own bathroom. I don't mind this community thing at all, I just think it would be nice.
More wall space for my posters.
If I had an apartment with someone cool, it would be fun
A bedroom, because I need my private space.
More room in general. My room is....... like, 9' by 15'. Roughly. Not big. Again..... not a huge deal, but it's kind of annoying, because I have so much crap.
I can be like "yeah, it's over in my apartment......"
Louder music. The walls are thicker.
Better temp. control.
I just do.

UCourt apts. are 3676.00 a year. per person. that does not include electric and water. It includes trash service, cable *lots of it*, and free local calls. This also does not include food, but you can still buy a meal plan. I wouldn't.
Right now my room here is ......... *sigh* I can't find the site that says. But less than that.
Why torture myself? Weller or Ford is fiiine. Nice, even.
I don't feel well.
The Celery Stalks at Midnight.
:: Delanor Benson 1:30 AM [+] ::
...

I got the new Bad Religion CD!
*does the angry liberal punk dance*
*falls*
I'm so happy. I almost got No Control, but then I decided against it. Because The Process of Belief came in a cooler package. It was shiny.
I REALLY don't want to go back to school. I just don't. Because I'm fucking crazy. And crazy people shouldn't *have* to take stupid Flute or Music History or Psych exams. It's not fair. ;) Though going back *does* have it's perks. nudge nudge. Some of you know what I mean.
Today I also put a gorgeous red and black corset on layaway at HotTopics. It's really, really pretty. And I'm sexy, jah? I'll have it with a loooong black skirt. And cool jewelry. And we'll be ready for some serious Phantom action. I also saw Freddy Got Fingered today. It was really funny, I admit.
Nilla wafers. mmmm.

Listening To: The Process of belief album, Bad Religion. Doi.
Mood: Forboding, if that's possible.
:: Delanor Benson 12:32 AM [+] ::
...

W3rd up dawg. I be da flyest Jesus of them all. Sure, I may sing pop music in a group with a bunch of sissy white boys, but it brings in the bling-bling. And like any good savior, I get all the virgins I want for eternity.


Take the What Jesus Would You Be? Quiz

Ok, so that's the funniest thing I've read in awhile......
:: Delanor Benson 12:06 AM [+] ::
...

I slept for 16 hours.
Last night I felt like shit. My sleep schedule is so fucked up. I'll stay up 'till about 6-7 a.m. *if I sleep at all*, get up and go to class, sleep a little between classes, take a nap in the evening, then I'm awake. Rinse, lather, repeat. When I eat, I either binge on junkfood or don't eat at all. Add that to my constant mental nagging and a little cold, and it all caught up with me last night. I seriously though i was going to pass out and die in the next 24 hours. I laid down for a second at midnight while watching Half-Baked, and woke up at different intervals this morning. I don't think I could have gotten to class if I had wanted to.... I NEEDED that sleep. about 4:00 this afternoon, I realized that I felt TONS better. I still feel TONS better.
I need to take out the trash.
I want an apartment. Big time. Like, really bad. Just because I think it would be fun to decorate. Does ANYONE want to share one with me?

Ok. Here's the scoop. The new addy for this blog will be at http://www.frowl.org/janelane once....... um, I can get it switched. It won't do it. And I'm going to cry. But maybe tomorrow evening renata or *nina* can help me. *sets FTP settings on fire*
:: Delanor Benson 10:21 PM [+] ::
...

See which Requiem for a Dream Character you are.

:: Delanor Benson 10:53 PM [+] ::
...

PSA
The url for The Optic Monologues will be changing soon. For all of you Charleston and Mt.Carmel-ites, my dear amigo Renata got a bunch of people together to share a domain. Frowl.org. Hee hee. I'll be hosting my blog there, and maybe eventually a webpage, if I ever get around to learning complicated HTML and such. This is going to be fun. Frowl.org....... for all your frowling needs!

Another PSA
The Lord of The Rings: Fellowship of the Rings wins my award for Best Movie Score Ever Written. Listen to The Breaking of the Fellowship without being moved. I dare you.
:: Delanor Benson 7:57 PM [+] ::
...

So, the shrink thinks I might need "a rest". A trip to the funny farm. I saw this coming a mile away.

Still no horn. It's officially stolen, I think. I just don't care.
YAAAA! I have the hiccups! They won't leave me! *beats head*
Tonight I decided I'm going to take myself out on another date. :) I'm going to go to Steak n' Shake, eat dinner and read, then catch a movie. Ack, nothing good playing. Maybe I'll catch Orange County again. *shrug* whatever. If LoTR was playing, I'd seriously go see it again. And again. And again.
Norm is near death. It makes me so bitter........ he was a brilliant psychology and philosophy professor. Less than a year ago they found two brain tumors. After the surgery, he got weird. He said and did things he KNEW didn't make sense, and he got embarassed. He knew what was happening. Now he doesn't recognize his own wife. I honestly am glad he's near death....... he'd said before he didn't want to live like this. So I suppose I should be happier now. But Margie's really torn up....... she lost her husband in less than a year. He went from the provider to being like a child. yaaa, this is so depressing. I HATE funerals. And it doesn't make it any better that Margie and I are on horrible terms.
*thinks* I'm trying to find positive things to blog about......... OH! Sarah hinted that she was considering Eastern, and that we could get an apartment or something together. That is, we could if I wasn't disgusting. That's very, very happy news. Oh, and there's a message on the chalkboard outside my room for something called the "LSD Date Auction". Loling. I live in a complex of 3 dorms...... Lincoln, Stevenson, and Douglas. LSD. I got a letter when I moved in that was titled "Welcome to the LSD complex!". I'm taking a picture of the message and sending it in Sarah's Xmas gift, if I ever get it done.
I think most people that read my blog have already done this, but I tried colorgenics again. Dude. It's so freeking scary. just do it......... it takes, like, 1 minute tops. And it's eerie beyond all reason.
Christ on a cracker, this room is filthy. Like........... 99% of the population would not step foot in it. Things are decaying. I'm so gross. Maybe if I live with someone, I'll have incentive to not be disgusting. I hope I marry someone without a gag reflex. Any takers? Maybe I'll clean tonight after my hot date.
Listening To: Anthony Rapp singing Without You. *sigh* Then Lacrymosa from Mozart's Requiem.
Mood: half-desperate, half-apathetic
:: Delanor Benson 12:02 AM [+] ::
...

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Low
Schizotypal:	High
Antisocial:	Low
Borderline:	Very High
Histrionic:	Moderate
Narcissistic:	Moderate
Avoidant:	High
Dependent:	Very High
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Click Here To Take The Test --

Low Antisocial? No.
Moderate Narcissistic? No.
High Schizotypal? No.
:: Delanor Benson 3:13 AM [+] ::
...

I think I'm far too harshly critical of people. While I can always find something good to say, I really let the bad get to me. It's not deeper human problems, like character flaws or rough upbringing..... it's just plain 'ole human stupidity. Like, I sit in class and listen to people actually complaining about a great teacher...... I think my profs are all doing a good job. A couple of them I just think are flat-out brilliant. Not a blasted conservative in sight. It's nice. I just want to bitch-slap the students.
I didn't sleep last night. I recently discovered the Friends theme song, and how cool it is. It took me this long. So I drove around this morning in my car belting "I'LL BE THERE FOR YOUUUUUUUU!", smacking the steering wheel on the claps at the beginning, then swerving into oncoming traffic. I'm a dangerous person. It got me all upbeat and perky for awhile. Then I went to class and got nervous and sick. The buzz wore off pretty quick.
I'm trying to think of something positive to blog..... *thinks*
Oh, yeah....... I'm going home in a few hours. Relaxation.
I tried to start the outline for my play. Realized my inspiration was gone.
Going to toddle off before I get really self-depreciating.

Listening To: The Friends song. Doi.
Mood: Depressed. Agitated. Annoyed. Doi squared.
:: Delanor Benson 11:43 AM [+] ::
...

*crosses fingers for Renata's tasp acceptance*

I missed Flute class this morning. I'm sorry. I didn't meant to. It was not a conscious choice. I woke up early, got dressed, felt sick. had a half-hour to sleep, so I set my alarm and went to bed. I forgot, however, to turn the alarm ON. Yeah. I woke up 20 minutes after class had started. And I feel bad. But I went to clarinet, and the FIRST thing Barta said was "If one doesn't show up to class in the morning, then it doesn't look good to be seen in classes in the same day". That makes so much sense. If I miss one class, I should skip them all. I was trying to be polite an apologetic, but I was biting my tongue the whole time. I almost started crying too, I was so frustrated. I always feel like crying around this guy. He's such a shitty teacher. He confuses me...... like, when we play excercises and such, he makes me stop after every measure and pause. And then he sings the measure, and my ADD makes me lose concentration when he does that. I'm just so frustrated. Everyone is so judgemental and unfriendly. I suppose this is what the general population of the world is like and I should get used to it, but it's hard to adjust to.
Last night at Concert Band, I forgot my folder. Yeah, I've been a spazzy fuckwit lately. I woke up 5 minutes before class. Which meant that I had to play 3rd part for 30 minutes. OH my GOD. Let's make a big fucking deal out of it. Like, Jessica talked to me about it after band...... which is ok, I guess, because it's her job as section leader. But they kept whining about it in band, and I've heard them talking about it 3 times since then. About how stupid and immature I am. What? Hello? It was a folder. I screwed up, and I'm sorry. It's not like we have to have it memorized.
I have seriously lost all my social skills. I stutter. A lot.
*sigh* I'm bitching far too much about everything. I come off as really negative and critical on this blog. Hee hee. Ah, I have to vent somewhere.
Watching the South Park movie. Gotta love it. I want to be Mr.Garrison when I grow up.

Listening To: Bad Religion - Struck a Nerve *this is such a sad song*
Mood: mildly productive.
:: Delanor Benson 2:22 AM [+] ::
...